Chasing Chloe

It's a Duck Party!

2011-03-24T15:05:00.000-05:00

Chloe's 1st birthday was a duck theme. Guests were invited to wear yellow.

Chloe learned to walk a couple of days before her birthday and loved showing off her new skills.

A girl and her grandma have a special bond - both dressed in yellow for the theme.

Homemade duck decor.

The favors...rubber ducks, of course, and yellow and blue wrapped candies.

Part of my support group.

The decor...yellow and blue tissue flowers instead of balloons (I had the tissue on hand already and wanted to save costs where I could).

Southern bbq food with a yummy brisket (a la Pioneer Woman).

Commanding attention with one of her Ayi's.

What girl transplanted to the south wouldn't love Hash Brown Casserole.

The duck cake was yummy and Chloe didn't take long to learn how to dig in.

Too much partying can wear a girl out though.

With a quick change of clothes, she was ready in her new party attire and loving the attention again.

Chloe loves to clap for her accomplishments - walking and opening gifts.

Here's her uncle thinking that rebuilding a car is sometimes easier than assembling kids toys.

Waving goodbye to guests.

In pictures...February

2011-03-04T15:41:00.000-06:00

Optional titles for this post..."things I wasn't going to do before becoming a mom" or "yes, I'm one of those moms."

Before becoming a mom I wasn't going to have my toddler watch tv. Now, can I just say that Barney rocks! (see photo below)
I wasn't going to have my child use a pacifier. (what was I thinking?) (see photo below)

Valentine cuteness ahead...yes, I insist on bows when starting an outting and especially a photo-op.

Chloe continues to insist that bows are not necessary. She even goes so far as to do random "bow-checks" (puts hand on head to check for extraneous wearings). She wins this battle...but I'm not ready to admit defeat and already have her bow picked out for my wedding, the bow which she won't wear and I apparently wasted my money on. And this was such a cute butterfly bow sent from another Chloe LuYun (a blog with a fascinating story on how their family grew when they found out their Chloe LuYun was a twin while in China to adopt her)!

Heading to the playroom...enough with the photos already...

Random cuteness in red... love, love, love those baby thighs!

On the move (a regular occurrence since learning to crawl)...

Still chasing her with the camera...both of us may a bit *ahem* stubborn...

B.L.E.S.S.E.D.

2011-03-04T11:45:00.000-06:00

A child is born

from the dreams

of your heart

and becomes

the love of your life.

What better way to express these last few months than with this quote. Chloe has exceeded all my hopes and dreams, and there is still so much for us to discover.

Slacker blogger, procrastinator extraordinaire, that has been me, but when it comes down to the moments that matter and enjoying life, it's all about me and my girl...and our growing family. In January, my boyfriend (DH2B) asked me to marry him, allow him to adopt Chloe, and expand to a larger family to include his two daughters, R (14) and H (13). I said yes, and in the words of my friends, "he's a keeper!"

Chloe is bonding so well with DH2B. He understands her exploring side and appreciates her active side. DH2B also understands this momma's overprotective side! Wedding date to be announced shortly...we're working on a few details to have a small ceremony with immediate family and a few friends.

To catch up quickly...here's a few tidbits...all about Chloe, of course!

This precious little girl has gained two pounds and grown 1 1/2" taller since coming home in December.
I thought I had so many clothes for her...now why do I struggle to find outfits to fit the varying temperatures and sizes she needs each week.
Her smile lights my life, and yet it is so hard to capture on camera!
She loves her dogs, from the moment we walked in from the airport, she squeeled with delight. Luckily Norman is hard of hearing and doesn't realize how loud her squeels can be. Bailey (the yellow) has learned that food dropped from a high chair = a forever bond.
If a dog is laying in her way, Chloe has no problem crawling over, until getting top heavy and falling to the other side of the dog.
I love the way she likes to "read" a book while having her diaper changed.
The comment heard most from people that meet Chloe is, "wow, she's busy." Yes...I'm well aware of that!

We're Home!

2010-12-18T05:19:00.001-06:00

After a very rough travel day, our last plane ride arrived at 11:00pm. It was a long day's journey made difficult because I became ill all of a sudden, with violent vomiting followed by other uncomfortable issues (sparing the TMI here), at the Shanghai airport. My mom and sister were absolutely incredible in taking care of Chloe, me and the luggage, sparing any thoughts of comforts for themselves. They did all the could to get me, baby Yun-Yun, and the luggage through the Chinese security and onto the plane ride home. In Shanghai, my sister asked me to just lean on the luggage cart, and she would get us through, we agreed to say I had a fear of flying if questioned at all as we were getting on that plane home!

I tried to sleep the first three hours and heard Chloe crying in the background, wanting to help, but not able to lift my head without feeling the need to vomit more. Finally, my mother asked me to try to hold Chloe as my sister was at her wits end handling an overstimulated baby and I had been unable to hold my head up and give her any attention for hours. God answers prayers for giving me healing and Chloe settled somewhat more peacefully in my arms but fought sleep for another two hours. The unfortunate passengers around us had to listen to baby cries and much squirming until she finally gave in to sleep.

I started feeling better just before we landed in Chicago, and just in time to literally run through the airport trying to make our connection. Even with the magical orange "Express Connection" pass, which allowed us to jump lines, and running frantically through terminals, we missed the connecting flight. The somewhat rude counter staff had given our seats away five minutes earlier with a cursory explanation that they had not been called that we were on our way. There will be a letter or two written to American Airlines for their lack of customer service and common courtesy language skills. There will probably also be a post in the feature about whether chivalry is dead in America or if it only exists in the traditions of the south.

At long last we arrived at our home airport late in the evening, met by some very special family and friends who had promissed to be waiting there no matter how late it was. What a welcoming site to see their smiles, joyful faces, posters and flags greeting us! Through tears and hugs, we found our comfort zone again.

For this very special little girl, we are no longer oceans apart. Travelling around the world to bring her home was only a part of the journey. China was everything and more than I could have imagined. Gone are the thoughts of a cold, Communist country, replaced by memories of a nation surviving, balancing it's long-standing traditions while integrating more modern ways. To experience, the historical intertwined with the modern of Beijing, the crazy driving and millions of traditional people of Nanchang, and the more serene Shamian Island of Guangzhou, we left China richer for having experienced its culture and beauty. We also left humbly blessed by being allowed to bring precious Yun-Yun home. I will be forever grateful to that special nation half-way around the world for allowing me to become a mothe and to my own nation of the U.S. for allowing my little girl to become a citizen and able to enjoy the privileged freedoms we have on our own soil, freedoms of endless opportunities.

Chloe entered her new home with wide-eyed wonder, taking in the surroundings very carefully. Seeing the dogs brought smiles on her face and squeels of laughter when they came close. It is evident that their bond will be quick. We took our first walk in the neighborhood this afternoon as she watched the dogs walk by her stroller and met some kids across the street. Her nights are still full of fitful sleep as she struggles to understand and accept her new home and family. I think my adjustment to jet-lag will be harder than hers, I just wish I could ease her sleeping and trust. As I lay here watching her sleep, all I can think of is how blessed I am. Thank you, Jesus. Sleep well, little one, you are home at last, and our journey is just beginning all anew.

Here's a few photos of our last days in China. This baby girl loves to eat and has those precious baby rolls of thighs to prove it!

Red Couch Day and We're Coming HOME !!!!

2010-12-16T17:46:00.000-06:00

Dear all,

I got this email earlier. All the little girls were at the Big Red Couch, but Sandra tells the story better than myself. So far, everyone is on schedule for their return today. They should leave arrive here about 9:30.

--------------------------------

(From Sandra) Chloe Yun-Yun is fabulous and quite the charmer. She has an incredible personality, at times we joke how it can go either way, from a cry to smile as she can be a hair-pin trigger, but each day she is developing more and more. She really is a happy baby and her cries don't last long. My hope and prayer is that her evenings get easier and quicker for her to go to sleep. She is doing better with the grieving and fighting sleep stage, especially if she gets either one long and one short nap or two good naps in a day. Other than that, she loves to entertain, it's quite funny how we have to separate her and my mom at bedtime because she loves to get my mom chatting with her baby talk, anything to prolong sleep and it's hard not to be amused with her little antics right now. My mom and sister are the most incredible help. I just don't know how I'll every be able to thank them. Chloe seems to be attaching to me very well, and she's starting to distinguish me from my mom and sister as her primary caregiver. Bonding is an amazing process, and I realize it will still take many months to get the attachment level I desire for her deepest trust and comfort.

Because photos say it best, this will be full of pics!

Monday was the oath ceremony at the American consulate in Guangzhou, Grandma kept telling Chloe Yun-Yun that she was going to see "Mr. General" (aka the Consulate General). Most of the event was anti-climatic and involved sitting or standing in line. We never did see or hear "Mr General," but rather the adoption officer stationed at this consulate. (Shout out to Allie - for Chloe, it was almost a waste of good outfit day! Ok, especially since her planned red, white blue outfit didn't fit, let's just say, baby got back...hehehe) It was special though as it reminded me of the day many, many years ago when my mother got her American citizenship and we went to the ceremony. I was very young but I remember glimpses of that momentous occasion that allowed my sister to also become a naturalized citizen and attend American schools. Who would have thought that over 40 years later, my family would be in a similar situation only half-way around the world? The final step is for Chloe to touch American soil, and her citizenship will be complete.

Tuesday was a day I've read about on blogs for years, so it was very special also. It was the Big Red Couch photo day. The White Swan Hotel is known for having these red-fabric couches and it is a long-standing tradition for adoptive families to have pictures taken on the couches. (It's also a tradition for most of the families to stay at the White Swan Hotel while they are at Guangzhou doing the official USA paperwork at the consulate.) We picked out a brightly colored Chinese dress for Yun-Yun. Karen had wondered if we would need to add an "expander" to the waistline but we decided she could make it for a couple of hours in the skirt. Grandma pressed the dress while Chloe Yun-Yun decided she would take a nap for about 30 min before we needed to be downstairs. Uhm, not the best timing! But we knew once she was awake from her catnap she would love seeing the other kids. We even took pictures of her getting ready for the occasion and she loved the attention.

The babies did fabulous as they were set on the couch and the older adopted children were so precious and brave sitting in front of the couch. I'll attach a couple of pics from the red couch photo day and soon I need to post some of the out-takes to show that Yun-Yun isn't quite all the smiles!

After a quick change, we out and about shopping on Shamian Island. Love to all and looking forward to introducing Chloe Yun-Yun to you!

Sandra

Resting, Playing and Shopping in Guangzhou

2010-12-12T11:25:00.000-06:00

From the Guest Blogger,

Attached are the most recent text messages. We had a nice Skype conversation two nights ago (4am Central Time) Chloe was interested in the talking computer box, but I think she enjoyed seeing her own image on the computer more than mine or the dogs. The dogs were interested in a talking box that sounded like mom. I don't think that the dogs have been "away" from mom for this long. And I got to see Chloe dance on momma's lap. She's not walking or crawling - but she will stand on their laps.

They were all laughing and having a great time. Of course, I'm not sure how well they slept that night - but I think Chloe is doing okay between Sandra and her sister on the King size bed. No crib for this girl!

---------- Forwarded text message ----------
- We made it to Guangzhou and are at the hotel. Very fancy and right on the river.. 19th floor. Great view of all the lights and boats. Chloe loved her first plane ride! Love to all!
(GB note: It remains to be seen how much she likes the 14-hour flight from China to the USA)

- We go to a buddist temple and pearl market today. Chloe loves to be out with people and lovvves her food!

- We had fun day shopping and as you can see Chloe is a shoe girl! Loves her new shoes! Great prices here! Love to all!
(Final GB note. I can see three things in the picture: First Chloe is sitting up and has a great big smile. Second, it appears that the shoes they took with them to China were too small. And, finally, Chloe seems more interested in the box than the shoes - which seems typical for little girls!)

Moving on to Guangzhou

2010-12-10T22:44:00.000-06:00

(Guest Blogger: This is a compilation of our most recent text messages)

Had a great night as she slept peacefully laying on bed between Karen and me. Plus now she is sitting by herself and not constantly being held. She loved her breakfast and did some babytalk with the hotel staff.
----------

Breakthrough!! She sits by herself in chair!! Yay! Relief for our arms!
(GB, yes the picture is fuzzy, but THIS was a Breakthrough!)
----------
We made it to Guangzhou, and we are at the hotel. Very fancy and right on the river...19th floor. Great view of all the lights and boats. Chloe loved her first plane ride! Love to all!

Chicken anyone?

2010-12-09T20:54:00.000-06:00

(Guest Blogger posting a recent email...and more photos!)
Ahh, another day in Guangzhou. Apparently, even with the 5-star status of our hotel, the air conditioning is off for several hours each day. So we open the windows and listen to the clatter from 14 stories. Lots of construction and the traffic is SO loud...

Chloe Yun-Yun had her first teething biscuit this evening, and she has just had a bath, which I think she will like one day, but not now; mainly because she has to sit and not be held. She gives us this "eh, ehhh, ehh" cry, the kind that isn't loud screaming, just quite put out with us. Yun-Yun is an absolute treasure. She is full of personality and has an amazing smile, especially when she sees her self in the mirror! The last couple of days she loves to stand up (on our thighs while we are holding her, not on the floor!) as if she will be ready to walk soon. We haven't seen her crawl because as you keep hearing, she prefers to be held, so we comply. We joke alot about how we think she is going to give us a calculus lesson next week right after we give her an erector set to play with. Karen swears she can probably crawl and keeps threatening to buy her a cupcake and put across the room from her to make her crawl. We tried to think of something that would be a big enough reward to attract her! :) Of course, we thought of food because that brings out the party girl. She danced at dinner when she finally got to eat potatoes and watermelon!
Last night she kept playing with the blanket right before she went to sleep, kinda kept feeling the edges of the blanket and all of sudden she held it up in front of her and then put it down, turns out she knows how to play peek-a-boo on her own! We haven't seen her do it again but each day we wonder what else she really knows that will just take time for her to feel comfortable enough to show us.

For todays adventure we went to a local "village," which was an extremely humbling experience. I have to admit thought that it was more like going to the south side of a very poor town. I had hoped we were going to actually go out of the city more to the country near rice fields and agricultural settings. It was an interesting experience amongst the poverty, the chickens running around, the meat drying to hang near the laundry, and the water spigots outside the doors (since there was no indoor plumbing)... What we found most special was the elderly people who stay home to care for the children, and who love the children so much. I asked an elderly woman if I could take her grandson's photo by motioning with the camera. She smiled and immediately used her sleeve to wipe across his face. Their pride and love for children really show through.

Afterwards we stopped by a beautiful park. The city is full of huge apartment buildings, so the government builds magnificent parks for the people to enjoy. It is common to see people exercising, couples walking, and elderly people with small children. Whenever we go out we make sure to have a hat or hoodie on Chloe as well as keeping her bundled up because the elderly women (aka the "clothing police") love to check our babies to see if they think they are warm enough. Trust me, it had to be about 60 and lovely today and it seems quite warm to us. Chloe was in a onesie, a sweatshirt hoodie, tights, jeans, socks and her coat. Karen was wearing a sweater and holding Chloe when a granny came up and checked on Chloe. She approved of Chloe, but pointed to Karen's arm wanting to know where Karen's coat was! That was cute as it was a big thumbs up to pass a nanny check. Oh, walking through the village earlier a woman did come up and pull Chloe's coat around her more though! Every moment is an adventure.
We came back to the hotel and after feeding Chloe a bottle (she sucks it down at lightening speed), we took a cab to McDonalds! Crazy, huh? Who would have thought last week that a Big Mac could taste so good? Then for more of an adventure we walked back the 8-10 or so blocks or so winding down the busy sidewalks with pedestrians and mopeds on the sidewalk. (Karen says it's further with a heavy baby!) The hair raising part was crossing the street, there were no traffic lights and these cars, mopeds and buses don't stop for anyone.
This evening we've been chilling in our room and watching Chloe's expressions to entertain us. She does a lot of baby babble. I asked her to say "mama" since her paperwork said she could, Karen likes to respond with "they lied about that too on the paper" (the papers said she was a sound sleeper! Sure she is, as long as you are holding her in your arms! We got her down for about 6 hours one night in the crib, but only the one night!)

Since pictures say it best, here's a few latest faves. We've had fun using the large photo of my neice's elementary class. We take pictures with the photo in it, so it is like the kids are along on our grand adventure!
The photos are:

At the Tengweng Pavilion - one of three most famous pavillions in China.
At the Tengweng Pavillion and Chloe and one of her adopted buddies holding hands
Looking at the dried meat in the local Walmart - along with a close-up so you can appreciate the dried chickens. They use the whole chicken here and it's common to see the chicken feet either on the buffets or elsewhere. (Actually the hotel buffets are awesome and we are eating good because of the variety of foods)
We also got some awesome photos from a park today, but I haven't downloaded them. We are so looking forward to getting to Guanghzhou. Nanchang has been an adventure, but we are ready to be able to be out on our own more and walk the streets more. It's too crazy with the traffic to do it here! I also can't wait to update the blog with all the sights, sounds and experiences. Send our love to everybody and we will see you in a week.
Love,

Sandra, Karen, Mom and baby Yun-Yun

Catching up today...

2010-12-07T17:05:00.000-06:00

(Guest Blogger) Below is the contents of a recent email. They aren't able to access the blog, so I'm posting from their email, complete with PICTURES!
---------------------------------

(From Sandra) Hi - we've figured out that internet works in my room in the a.m., but not the evening, it's about 5am here and I'm going to try to send photos because I can't access blogger. Hopefully will be able to when we get to Guangzhou on Fri evening.

This is a very quick synopsis...
Sun evening - Plane landed in Nanchang, as our bus was taking us to the hotel they said the babies were nearby, then at the hotel "they were here," so they told us to grab our luggage, and meet downstairs "quickly." She came to us wide-eyed. Her nights are the hardest for all of us.

Mon a.m. - We went to Civil Affairs Office and Notary, both places she was the ham of the group and nicknamed "party girl." The driving here is crazy, to watch is better than any movie! When we all had to the cross a street, we were like ducks rushing behind the leader. Yun-Yun giggled and loved it. (GB note: Yun-Yun is her familiar Chinese nickname.) She giggled alot. Almost all the babies took a nap at the Civil Affairs Office since we were there awhile. Not this girl, she finally broke out of that orphanage and was going to let people know!

How odd it was to celebrate the official completion of the adoption with a trip to WalMart. Yes, she loved that too. Then she got overtired and as we arrived back to the hotel on Mon afternoon, the grieving set in and we were in for a very long day and evening. She could only be consoled by walking her, and walking and walking some more. (We are going to have some serious biceps as this baby girl is chunky!) Once we could no longer feel our arms because of the numbness from holding her, we finally devised a chair with pillows to take turns rocking her. Karen dubbed the chair as the cockpit, and now it is known as mission control. Grandma says if feels like sitting on a throne. :) Especially when holding her.

Tues a.m. - We went on an outing to a park and porcelain store, and Yun-Yun was so much more reserved than before. After a long nap, we met our travel partners Roberta and John with their precious Audrey for dinner. Turns out Yun-Yun loves table food. Ok, I am such a rookie parent to not realize that! Her personality came out again as we sat down for a buffet. She skipped the baby stuff of steamed egg and congee and went for a roll, potatoes, rice, and especially watermelon. She let us know how happy she was by dancing her way through dinner. Of course this was while standing in our laps because the high chair is useless in her mind. Why sit when you can be held with a bit of a cry? (Uhm, if we let her sit longer than 15 seconds the cry turns to a scream which stops immediately when you start to pick her up. It's amazing how she can turn it off and on so quickly.)

We had another major breakthrough after dinner by actually getting her to sit in the stroller. It was quite a production and we had to be quite animated for it but for that moment it worked and we spent quite awhile pushing her around the hotel.

Last night was another production in getting her to try the crib, but she slept from 10pm till 4:30am in the crib, woke for a diaper change and bottle and is going back to sleep as I write (being rocked, no more crib for now!).

Also, the one pacifier I brought is turning out to be a lifesaver. It was a last minute addition to our packing, and a wonderful thing to have! Speaking of which, the first night , she did a lot of self soothing and banging in the crib so from that moment on we've been holding her to let her know she doesn't need to do that any more.

Our travel group is wonderful and these are the most precious babies. They are all gorgeous and sweet. The other parents are so wonderful to be around. It's only been one week into this journey. China is an incredible experience and later I will transfer some of my hand journaling to the blogger to catch up on the experiences. Meanwhile, love to you all!

Ok, here's the pictures because that's what you really want anyway. And, uhm, yes, she does enjoy her picture taken!

Sandra

Official Chinese Adoption

2010-12-06T15:46:00.001-06:00

(Guest Blogger) We got this text earlier today: "Did all the official adoption paperwork today, went to Walmart and KFC with the whole group. Chloe was the life of the party with everyone and was named the party girl. She smiles and giggles a lot!"

(GB continues) This round of paperwork today was for the Chinese government. They'll have to complete the official USA adoption / travel visa paperwork in a few day. When she said Chloe was the life of the party, they are traveling with several different families who all adopted children from the same orphanage. I'm not going to say anything about the KFC visit. I imagine after 5 days of "Authentic Chinese Food," that I might enjoy a little KFC myself!

(GB continues) I also got a phone call about 11am this morning. A very tired Sandra was feeling down - it seems that Chloe Lu Yun was grieving about her separation from her foster family. They were up at 1:30am Beijing time, and they were all tired. Chloe was not eating, and they could not put her down for sleep. So, we have our good days and our not-quite-so-good days. Grieving is not necessarily a bad thing. It means that Chloe had formed a strong earlier attachment, so she is more likely to form another attachment with Sandra in time than a child who had not formed strong attachments earlier. Along those lines, Chloe had very good care in her foster home. She is healthy, very alert to her surroundings and she has good eye-hand coordination with her toys. She is making very good eye contact with her new family which is also a good sign. So, say a quiet prayer of encouragement and strength for our intrepid four travelers.

We Have Chloe!!

2010-12-05T11:31:00.000-06:00

(Guest Blogger) We got a very excited phone call about 4 am this morning. A very excited mother was holding her new baby. Chloe was calm and quite happy to be with them. She loved her toys that they had brought and the snacks in the room. We got one picture, but its quality was too poor to post ;( Don't worry, I'm sure we'll get more pictures when they catch their breath!

2010-12-04T08:17:00.000-06:00

A few more random photos of the day...
Shout out to our YaYa's, my mom wanted to bring this jade scuplture home to decorate her house, she knew you ladies would understand!

And to my brother, thought you'd enjoy this one...oh the tales we will tell when we are home!

A hazy day, but absolutely beautiful, crisp, cool, weather.

A day of touring and shopping, oh my!

2010-12-04T07:54:00.000-06:00

A quick post as it's been a long, incredible day. Some things are best said in photos, so without further adieu..the day started with a tour of the jade factory, followed by shopping. We really enjoyed the shopping there (hint, hint)...

Beginning our great wall adventure, one of many dreams come true on this trip.

Yes, it really is steep! Here's the view part way up and on towards the first watch tower.

Karen made it just past the first watch tower and I went to the second. we both thought about the importance of the trip being tomorrow, in receiving Chloe, so we didn't want to push it further. Mom had a wonderful time just going a few steps on the wall for the feel of it, and then waiting at the bottom and taking in all the scenery. Climbing the steps reminded me of hiking the Grand Canyon in the depth of the stairs and the climbing, and yet, it was incredible to think of the thousands of people who spent years working to build it. The history and culture of China is really a beauty to behold, and to actually absorb.

Then it was time for a grand lunch served family style on a large lazy susan type tray in the center of the table. While some foods we recognized (can anyone say sweet and sour chicken - yum) there were several that we weren't sure about, tried and liked most of them. And after a quick visit to the "Friendship Store" for just a little more shopping, we were on to the Summer Palace, a place I've been fascinated with and looking forward to experiencing. So much of the tourists site in China are more about "experiencing," rather than just seeing. I'll admit that my knowledge beforehand was limited and romanticized since it was based on reading historical novels which take liberty with the truth. And yet, the magicalness of the reason it was built and the beauty of it still existed in real life.

One of my favorite things now is taking pictures of people, especially children. One grandmother was so happy to have her grandaughters' picture taken with her that she asked Karen and I to also have our picture taken with her grandaughters. The littlest one had no idea what it was about, but still complied, much to our enjoyment.

China is a beautiful and fascinating country, not just for the historical architecture, but also for its people, some who work so hard to eek out a living. Living in America, we are truly blessed, for seeing cyclists laden with the huge weight of goods or street vendors, it is only by the grace of God, that I was able to be an American and enjoy the freedoms and opportunity that is so universal for all Americans.

Sorry for that jaunt, my mind wonders with appreciation to be able to experience the gift of adoption, and also for the opportunity to be allowed to adopt a child from this beautiful nation and hope to give her the love she deserves from a family and the freedoms she will be able to have as an American.

Tomorrow is the day, and for my dear family and friends, when you wake up on Sunday, Chloe will be here. And my life as a mother with a daughter of my own will begin...our stories and futures to be ever twined together...

2 and a half days of travel

2010-12-03T06:41:00.000-06:00

Now in photos...

Full of excitement to start the journey, the sign was compliments of my mother. So much innocence on our faces, not knowing the extended delays and flights we would be encountering...we're here now though! :)

The airport send-off!

We spent a lot of flight time chatting, napping and watching the flight progress screens. Here's a direction we didn't expect to go, over the Atlantic. Our initial thought was to go the other direction around the world because at least we were still moving closer to China. How naive of us not to think about the weather problems in England! My aunt had just mentioned to me on Sunday that Britain was bitterly cold and had recently had the earliest snow in 17 years. What a surprise it was to them when we called and said we were at Heathrow. So, after several security checkpoints, my mom ended up with a security pat down at Heathrow. Apparently, a simple bracelet can trigger an alarm even though she had already been through several other checkpoints, and how an innocent, smiling grandmother could look suspicious was beyond us! Just part of the adventure!

The "Please wait" on this sign cracked us up since we had already spent two days of waiting in airports!

Getting closer to Beijing was a welcoming sign!

Our first glimpse of the Chinese horizon, so many emotions, relief, wonderment, awe.

And this evening, this was a welcoming site, as we rest up for an early day out for the Great Wall, the Summer Palace and the Jade Factory.

The hotel is beautifully decorated for Christmas. Oddly enough, a couple of the displays also have stuffed rabbits with carrots, uhm, someone is a little confused on their holiday decorating!

Beijing, at last!

2010-12-03T02:59:00.000-06:00

We're sitting in our Beijing hotel room at last. Too tired to go to the acrobat show after years of thinking about it. Oops, 2 1/2 days of traveling trying to get half-way around the world is catching up with us.. It was kinda hairy getting out of London because England is frozen over, Gatwick was closed, and European flights were being cancelled! They were letting other international flights out so we left London a few hours late. When we got to the hotel we were only gonna have 1 1/2 hours for all 3 of us to clean up and be ready to go to a show. Since we've missed two nights of sleep we decided it's prob best to stay in and have a quiet evening then be ready to go to early tomorrow, sounds like we are still going to do the great wall tomorrow, then another flight on Sunday for Chloe day!

Mom and I are fascinated watching the traffic and people go by from our hotel window, meanwhile Karen has already organized the room, our snacks and anything else she can find to line up neatly!

Day One - Re-Routing around the world

2010-12-01T22:01:00.000-06:00

We got to the airport on time today - which means we got there about 2 hours earlier than necessary. And we waited, and then waited some more. The plane had a mechanical malfunction, and "they would know more in 10 minutes." The ten minutes became twenty, and then it became 2-3 hours. We finally took off too late to make our connection to Beijing.

But all is well, we're on our way, and the airlines re-routed us through London! So, we will literally travel around the world in 16 days, with a 4 hour layover in London. We might even see some family whilst there! Isn't it wonderful the way some things turn? We haven't seen them in years, and we've certainly got a new start to our story!

More later - we'll get to Beijing about 12 hours later than planned - but the only remaining option was an extra day in Chicago and a 24 hour delay. And we'll hopefully have a good sleep on the plane tonight.
(p.s. Guest Blogger on board whilst the plane is enroute...)

And we're off !!!

2010-12-01T07:52:00.000-06:00

It's the day - China bound! Some very dear friends and one kind brother-in-law are showing up this morning to take my mother, sister and I to the airport at 10am this morning. It will be a long day since we change planes in Chicago then leave this evening for Beijing. Oddly we don't arrive in Beijing until 11:30pm on Thurs evening - whew, what a day. Hopefully the adrenalin will continue!

I was packing late last night with the help of my two dogs and one understanding boyfriend. (He suggested I add in the "understanding" part! :) He will be the guest

Thank you dear family, friends, and cyber buddies for all of your prayers, encouragement and support. It's been a long road to get to this point and I feel like the journey is only just beginning. I'll leave you with a photo of bear, who has been photographed all around the house in very places for a mini-photo album I'm taking for Chloe to visualize her new home and friends waiting for her. Ok, the photo album also contains a few dog pictures to hopefully easy any traumatic thoughts once she meets the dogs!

Next stop...Beijing...Project Bring Chloe Home continues...

In One Week

2010-11-23T22:28:00.000-06:00

In one week I will get on a plane
to a faraway land
steeped in history, traditions, and inventions
the birthplace of my daughter.

In one week I will explore new ground
and experience unfamiliar ways
yearning to learn, to seek,
to understand.

In one week my life will change
forevermore
a dream will be realized
when she is placed in my arms.

Spare a square?

2010-11-10T15:25:00.000-06:00

I have decided to jump back into working on Chloe's 100 Good Wishes quilt since I apparently can't seem to stop adding to my ever-growing "to do" list. I'm not too particular, just hoping to get a 7x7 square and a wish on a small note card or paper.

Please email me or leave a comment if you would like to participate, and I will respond with my mailing address. And if you are also making a 100 Good Wishes Quilt and would like a square from me, just let me know! Thank you!

Flights are booked!

2010-11-10T14:47:00.000-06:00

We leave the U.S. on Dec. 1st bound for Beijing. Still waiting to hear what day will be the magical "gotcha day." I'm chomping at the bit waiting for the in-country itinerary, and as my sister said, I "can wait five years for this to happen but apparently can't wait five more minutes to get more news!"

Travel Authorization

2010-10-26T12:46:00.000-05:00

Travel authorization came today from China! The next step is the adoption agency will obtain our consulate appointment and then we can book our flights. The exact travel dates have not been finalized yet but we have tentative dates of December 1st through the 16th - a little later than I hoped and a few days longer...sounds wonderful though! We will know for sure in the next few days.

Dog Neurosis

2010-10-22T23:21:00.010-05:00

So this post will be a break from all things pink and adoption to talk about dogs. My two furbabies in particular. This dog giving the evil eye is Norman, my 12 year old chocolate lab, an old soul who is extremely attached to me. Some would even call our relationship co-dependent. The problem lately though is Norman is going somewhat senile, losing his hearing, and tends to get disoriented. Norm, a creature of habit, likes to go to bed (on one of the dog beds scattered through the house) around 9pm. Last night he kept standing at the bedroom door barking at me because he wanted me to come in there too. Then he started barking at 5am. Why do I pick battles with crazy dogs? I didn't want to get up that early and I really don't like being at Norman's command. So after tossing, turning, repeatedly telling him our typical conversation of "night, night, few more minutes" (seriously, this phrase has worked for years on him), I got up and fed him. To which he went right back to sleep while I laid there wide awake.

With his hearing loss, Norm doesn't always hear me come home, which is odd to walk in the house and nudge the dog to wake up. Then there are those times where Bailey and I are walking around the house, she starts playing and I tell her not to wake him up! Another oddity since some people in the neighborhood think he must be a great watch dog given his size.

Then we have my first love, Bailey, a 9 year old yellow lab. She is loyal, playful, has a high language comprehension, knows hand commands, and is also quite high maintenance with the vet bills. Here she is resting in her doggie jail, a former child's play confinement area purchased off Craigslist. Bailey had a setback in her surgery recovery from an ACL injury. Unfortunately, it's probably my fault as the timing goes back to receiving Chloe's referral. Bailey had to be confined after surgery and since I was having several people over for the referral call, I put Bailey in the bathroom and took down her doggie jail to have more room. After the excitement, I thought Bailey was doing so well that I didn't set the jail back up. Somewhere along the way she injured herself and is limping again, the vet thinks the knee is stable and is probably a strain, but Bailey has been assigned 6 more weeks of confinement and only short leash walks again. Lovely, just what I need! The blessing is that Bailey is such an understanding girl and even though she is taller then her pen, she goes in there willingly and doesn't try to get out. Notice the ladybug stuffed animal that Bailey confiscated from Chloe's room a couple of years ago. Carrying stuffed animals around are ingrained in her DNA.

Then we have Norman, sometimes he barks at Bailey too, so that's when he ends up in the doggie jail also, cramping her space and claiming the dog bed...at least until he's had enough and barks at me to come out again! Aaaahhhhh, I can't wait till Chloe is home, wears him out, and he has no choice but to sleep from exhaustion. He is already useless if he doesn't get his 22 hours of sleep per day! My mom and I are convinced that Chloe's first words will be "no Norm!"

Updated Pictures!

2010-10-19T16:11:00.000-05:00

Yun-Yun has hair! Maybe I will get to use some of the bows my mother is buying sooner than I thought!

I can't wait to hold this baby girl, snuggle her tight and love on those round cheeks. And most of all, I can't wait to see a smile on her sweet face. These photos bring joy of seeing my girl and also sadness for seeing her grow and change. C'mon travel approval - my girl is waiting for her family!

If I had a single flower for every time

I think about you,

I could walk forever in my garden.

- Claudia Ghandi

Celebrating, Chasing FedEx, and the Signature of a Lifetime

2010-10-13T00:31:00.000-05:00

The day after my referral, my family sent a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.

Then they surprised me with an adorable teddy bear and by getting Chloe's highchair out of layaway. Over the long wait, I kept asking my mom to knit something for Chloe, but years of arthritis was bothering her hands and it didn't seem like it would be possible. I have fond memories of growing up listening to the click-click of my mom's knitting needles as we watched tv in the evenings. About a year ago, she surprised me with a beautiful knitted sweater, and has since knitted several special sweaters and hats for Chloe. Chloe seems like a large baby for her age so some of the sweaters may be switched to doll and stuffed animal clothing. With this knitted hat, this bear totally looks like Mama Bear from the Berenstein books!

A couple of days after the referral call, my mom and I spent most of Friday sitting around waiting on the infamous FedEx package containing the translated documents. We even put a note on the door to alert the driver.

After sitting and chatting for hours, watching out the window for the driver, emailing a travel mate regarding her package, I went to the back of the house for a moment and my mom got on the phone, in that short matter of time, a knock happened, my mother called out "Coming," and then he was gone...the long awaited formal documents were left on my doorstep and we missed the chance to photograph our stork!

That's ok, the documents are only a formality, the child of my heart, that I had spent years praying for, has a name, a face, and a birth place of meaning. With the ink of a pen and a quick signature, she will soon also have a forever family.

Throughout the adoption process, each round of paperwork is a milestone, marking off progress towards a dream. A mere formality in the steps of time. But receiving the referral of a dear child, being allowed to open my home to child from so far away, that is the blessing of the journey that is truly touched by God's own hands.

The call that changed my life...

2010-10-03T23:53:00.000-05:00

The years of waiting, the countless paperwork, the multiple fingerprints, the prayers and hopes...all came down to a moment in time, watching and waiting for the phone to ring. Family and friends gathered in my kitchen. We played guess Chloe's age/province.

The "Call" form, pens, calendar, map and phone were laid out.

A few minutes before the call was to arrive, laptops were being linked; Skype was ramped up with my youngest niece at A&M. (I love this photo, two teachers so serious about their mission. One is my oldest niece, who teaches 3rd grade, the other is my boyfriend, who teaches high school physics. The intensity on their faces and the focus of their actions are so characteristic of both of them. No wonder they both excel at what they do! Honestly, it looks like they are working a multi-million dollar deal, instead of just working the kinks out of Skype!)

The phone rings, I've been blessed with a daughter.

It felt like I held my breath throughout the call, luckily friends could continue to take notes for me.

Then I saw my daughter's face, and the child of my heart became real, my whole life changed, my love for her was sealed.

My mom came closest in the age/province game. She won a $10 gift card to Target!

The celebration continued, we researched her province and orphanage...

Showed Allie (via Skype) the cake before we cut into it...

We introduced Chloe to her room (yes, we were deliriously happy and quite silly too!)...

We took a lot of photos (can you tell???)...

I took down the last of the LID inchworm for 5/16/06 through 5/18/06. The ladybug represented 5/18.

I introduced Chloe Lu Yun (via photo) to Bailey and Norman.

And then after everyone left, I laid in bed, with one picture of Chloe on the pillow next to me, and another in a frame beside my bed. When I woke in the night, even though it was dark, I knew she was nearby, and my heart smiled.

Thank You!

2010-10-03T21:54:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to say how much I appreciate

all the sweet comments on my referral.

I'm truly overwhelmed and still walking on air to receive such a blessing of a child to love!

^i^ ^i^ I have a daughter ^i^ ^i^

2010-09-29T17:19:00.001-05:00

I whispered your name and God answered. With love and gratitude, announcing the referral of

Zhuang Lu Yun

Born: February 24, 2010 (7 months old)

Located in Jiangxi Province

Thank you Peoples Republic of China and FTIA for helping to make my dream come true!

Calls are being made!

2010-09-29T13:29:00.000-05:00

*SQUEELS* of excitement and perpetual smile as I wait for the call! I'm leaving work early and gathering some family and friends at my house for the call this afternoon and the celebration to begin! A travel buddy received the call and described her little one's photo as "not smiling but has lots of hair, precious lips and chunky cheeks." *SWOON* She sounds adorable! Welcome to the family little one, your new, loving home awaits you!

Referral Broadcasting System

2010-09-28T14:00:00.001-05:00

This is a special alert from the Referral Broadcasting System.

From the Referral Broadcasting Center TUES, SEPTEMBER 28, 2010, 2:00PM.

The existing Referral Watch has officially been upgraded to a Referral Warning for the members of the May 2006 DTC group by the Referral Broadcasting Center.

This Referral Warning is in effect for all of North America for the next 7 days. Disturbances in the Pacific jet stream indicate the departure of the silver stork. Further, several North American agencies have hinted that the silver stork may have already departed Mainland China.

Those whose dossiers are part of the Referral Warning area should take urgent and immediate steps to be sure they can be reached at all times; including such drastic measures as affixing your cordless phone or cell phone to your head with duct tape. It is also strongly recommended that you have ample supply of paper, writing instruments and tissues nearby. If you receive the Referral call while driving, immediately pull over to a safe spot off the roadway to prevent unintended injury to yourself or to others.

Be aware that once an actual referral post appears on RQ from a referral call within North America, conditions on adoption forums will dramatically decline for the remaining waiting families. Take appropriate steps now to prepare your heart and mind for an extended wait. Remember that your Agency Worker might be in an important meeting and unable to call for another 15 minutes; or the traffic Gods may have the DHL driver whose truck contains your referral packet held up in traffic. Rest assured that a swarm of ladybugs will swoop in and remove the roadblocks. These situations are completely out of your hands.

Those who are up next for sharing Referral news on this list should take notes now to be sure you provide your fellow listmates with appropriate information. Do not attempt to remember by heart what you need to post once you are under the influence of Referral Call Brain. Please post your child’s name, birth date, and SWI location; as well as the age of child requested. Use of special characters such as #, $, %, &, @, or ^i^ in your Referral announcement heading is left to your personal discretion and preference.

> - END OF MESSAGE - Referral Broadcasting Network

The above message was posted on another blog, I don't recall which one, but I've saved it a long time in hopes of using it also.

My agency is expecting to receive referrals either Weds or Thurs! My call sheet is ready, my family and friends are on standby, now I just have to remember to breathe... The child born of my heart is soon to be announced.

FLY STORK FLY

Update - The Referral Broadcasting System was originally authored by Lisa, who wrote it for the Feb 2003 DTC Yahoo group when she was waiting for a referral in 2003. Gotta love how good material stays around!

Click...Click...Click...Wheeee

2010-09-16T15:15:00.000-05:00

The adoption roller coaster of emotions is in high gear. As the anxiety increases over wondering when referrals arise, so does my anxiety about whether or not the 18th will be included. My earlier peace at thinking I would be fine with waiting until October for a referral is waning and now I just want confirmation on whether it will be this month or next! Where oh where are the referrals this month, oh where oh where could they be?

Day Dreaming

I stepped into her room today

knowing she’s not there.

This waiting for referral

is more than one can bear.

But taking in the moment

I sit down on the floor

and dream of her here with me

when waiting is no more.

A little giggle fills the air

as I rub her feet,

I place my hand upon her heart

to feel it’s every beat.

A song is sung so very soft

her eyes begin to close

she’s meeting me in dream land

a place where love still grows.

My vision now is very blurred

the tears stream down my cheeks

I’ve dreamed of her quite often

throughout these past few weeks.

Suddenly a sound is heard

the phone rings in the hall

waking up I quickly pray

please let it be “The Call.”

Matching has begun...

2010-09-15T12:24:00.001-05:00

The latest from the Rumor Queen:

September 15th, 2010 at 10:53 am
To be clear: There are now two U.S. agencies reporting that the CCAA is matching.

*Squeel*

Oddly enough I'm at peace on whether my referral happens this month or next. I'm going crazy just wanting to know which it will be though!

Our Children

Our children are not ours because they share our genes...

they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them.

That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night,

is how love really works.....

-Unknown

Included or not?

2010-09-14T21:22:00.000-05:00

All these years of waiting my family has joked with me that my LID (May 18th) would be one of those ones that comes down to the wire on not knowing if I would be included or not. I would like to tell them now - NOT FUNNY anymore! The latest from the Spanish RQ as of this evening:

"Hopefully we know something in the next two days and we remove this nervouseness, especially the families of 18 May."

I've been spending the last couple of weeks putting finishing touches on Chloe's room. The tree mural is complete and last night I finished painting the birds. I still want to tweak a couple of the bunnie rabbits a bit more. Next up is sewing a valance, dusting off the furniture and calling it done!

Having someplace to go is Home,

having someone to love is Family,

having both is a Blessing.

- Unknown

It's September!

2010-09-01T22:16:00.000-05:00

The big question...is this the month I will see my daughter's face or will it be one more month? After all these years, I can handle one more month. Funny enough, after this long wait, I suddenly wonder if I'm ready! This summer has flown by, with friends visiting, a couple of family health scares, home repairs, and now Bailey, my nine year old lab having surgery tomorrow. This girl is my high-maintenance dog, multiple surgeries over the years, but now with Chloe's referral rapidly approaching, I'm stressing more than usual about Bailey. She tore her ACL somehow and will need her knee repaired, followed by a long, long recovery. AAAGGGHHHHH

She will spend the next couple months being a kiddie pen turned doggie jail, could be quite the autumn in my house!

Time moves on...

2010-04-21T21:28:00.000-05:00

OMG, it has been awhile since I've posted. Life has been good though, quite good. I finally found most of my groove for the wait and have been enjoying life along the way. I'm also back to working on the mural in Chloe's room and will post updated pics soon of the progress. One bunny done, a few more characters to go.

I honestly believe this is the year I will become a mother, a very much older mother, but a mother at last, Lord willing. I find myself scouring travel tips for international adoptions and realizing it's time I got serious on reading more attaching books. Crazily enough, my heart was so happy today about the realization that the dream of my lifetime will come true that as I rode the elevator at work, I jumped up and down with glee shouting, I'm going to China, I'm going to China! Luckily no one else was on the elevator at the time!

On Wings of an Angel - In Memory of Deana

2009-07-27T19:42:00.005-05:00

A tender heart stopped beating today. A woman I never met in real life, only online through an adoption chatboard, yet she touched my life through her words and her actions. Deana was a loving wife, a proud mama to two young, sweet boys, and also a woman who reached out to so many lives through her kind words, encouraging spirit, a soul that fought the illness with all she had. Her courageous battle against Burketts Lymphoma was fought in a way that inspired so many others.

You left us too soon, Deana. Your ducky friends will always remember you and continue to pray for Jack and the zboyz as they grow up. In the words of her husband, Jack, hug your loved ones close tonight.

Loves bares all things...

In loving memory of a special ducky friend, Deana

I'm a Raspberry! What are you?

2009-07-09T12:15:00.003-05:00

Who needs hot fudge or powdered sugar? You are naturally sweet, like the best parts of summer. You are secret swimming spots in the woods, where the water is so cold it takes your breath away, even in August. You are the way it feels to swing out over the water on a knotted rope or scramble up a rocky outcropping, just so you can leap off and make the perfect splash. You are tall swaying grass, hayrides, farm stands, and cool morning air that smells vaguely of wildflowers. Mmm... YOU!

What summer food are you???

Unsolved Mysteries

2009-07-08T20:16:00.005-05:00

I arrived home from work to find this, the crime scene...
I tried to talk to the suspects...
The usual suspect denied any involvement, her history involves shredding her toys, not my things...
Hmm...someone's not looking too innocent...

The big goof isn't fooling me with his usual charm of a wink and a smile...
The blond girl is relieved to be outta this scandal.
Like I could be mad, HAH, it was my own fault for leaving the bathroom door open with some new tools that have been distracting me from their walks.

Seriously though, check out this nifty swing and slide a neighbor was tossing out. I backed my car up and loaded that goody up!

And puhleeze excuse the messy yard, a girl can't get her yardwork done and tile a floor at the same time. Thank goodness for the kind neighbor who keeps the front yard looking good for me, I wish he would also take pity on my backyard too!

July 4th holiday - part 2

2009-07-08T17:23:00.005-05:00

My holiday weekend wasn't all labor intensive though, I did find time to celebrate my 46th (yikes!) birthday with family. Good grief, I'm definitely going to be the oldest "new" mother on the playground. I should start researching high schools that are near future nursing homes or retirement centers for me to make it a short walk for Chloe one day! HAH - who am I kidding, there will be no retirement in my lifetime!

In truth, I never planned to wait this late in life to start a family, life just happened that way. Building a family for me has always been a deeply ingrained desire, a dream I refused to give up on, regardless of the rocky road to get there. Perhaps the challenges in my earlier years have helped me have the fortitude to survive this extended wait.

My stomach is in knots lately with the latest bumps in the road, including a newly imposed, additional "required" donation fee by my agency (upon receiving referral). Since when is a donation "required?" Well, when an agency decides to hold a new referral ransom until this new required fee is paid, I have to wonder if our freedoms in the USA really are free. Of course I want to do what I can to help orphanages in China, the method to require this donation is unsettling.

The latest media coverage of corruption of children forcibly removed from homes due to family planning guidelines in China also worries me on multiple levels. China; their government = their laws. How will the U.S. see this latest issue though? I prefer to keep my head in the sand at the moment and protect my heart that this will not end up as another delay in the process and that the babes that are adopted out truly are orphaned and not children taken out of the arms of loving homes. It seems so sad that each step of the process, while ever so slowly inching forward, there appears to be yet another hurdle, yet another concern, to either accomplish or overcome. The underlying fact is we each need to come to terms with the concept of motherhood, China's family planning laws, and how our adopted Chinese children will process this information. What will it mean to them one day? Yet another round of unanswered questions of their past lives. Hopefully, the tender arms of loving family and supportive answers to keep looking and trying to understand a government and long-standing culture so different from our own as Americans will play a large step in our children making peace with their unknown past.

However motherhood comes to you,

it's a miracle.

~Valerie Harper

How I spent my July 4th holiday - Part 1

2009-07-06T06:50:00.004-05:00

Some people lazed by the pool,
others enjoyed bbq's in preparation
for the evening's fireworks,
not me this year, all of the typical independence
day celebrations will be picked up again next year,
but this year...while some lazy dogs snoozed...

I ripped up my old bathroom flooring and got into some serious manual labor...
Seriously, what was I thinking? Yet another physical labor project? That's ok, "install new tile floor" will soon be checked of my "items to do before bring home a precious babe" list.

Needless to say, when a friend called at 8am and said, "right about now you're regretting starting this project," well, I didn't find it quite so funny at the time because it was too true!

2009-06-29T10:56:00.002-05:00

Every call has a beginning

A quiet moment when God

whispers a promise to a mother’s heart.

A holy place where a father bows

and faithfully accepts the journey set before him.

A miraculous morning that unexpectedly dawns…

Casting its first light on a chosen threshold.

A gentle knock..a closed door opens.

A sacred invitation sent by the Father

Leads to the other side of the world.

Where lonely hearts stare out orphanage windows

Praying for someone to care..

And then one morning,

On an ordinary day

An orphan’s life changes...

God sends them a second chance...

Through you.

--author unknown

Why adopt? Why China?

2009-06-27T21:12:00.002-05:00

Orphans of God...

My new love, joy unfolding...

2009-06-25T20:30:00.000-05:00

I have a new love in my life, my attention is captivated with it's mysterious, yet fulfilling nature. I've followed my love to new hangouts, leisurely wandering store aisles with thoughts of my love in mind, spending many late nights roaming blogs that share my love.

To the dismay of one,
And the skepticism of another,

I introduce my new love, I think I'll call her Mags...
Just a few of the reasons I fell in love with Mags...

Your built in needle threader, how long has this special feature been around?

Your button to make the needle go up or down, rather than using the wheel on the side like my junior high home ec teacher taught me.

Your speed control, we can fly new alleys together or slow down to enjoy the ride.

Your sharp thread cutter, which I've learned can also slice the seam allowance if I'm not careful.

Oh, the depths I long to explore my new love. Perhaps one day soon, as our relationship solidifies, I will feel comfortable enough to move from the solitary straight stitch and explore your auto button holer and decorative stitches.

Pet Peeves

2009-06-25T11:07:00.002-05:00

I’m in a mood today, a dirty no good rotten mood. Isn’t there a children’s book about that? My mood is probably stemming from a lack of reasonable sleep lately due in part to Norman, my 11 year old lab who is acting like a whiney toddler lately, work woes, and because I keep forgetting to get my estrogen prescript refilled. A woman with a lapse of estrogen is not a good thing.

Norman, while the love of my life for his whole hearted dedication to me, is driving me nuts because of that dedication. He has to be by my side at every turn and movement in my home. His latest lovely habit is to bark incessantly at me in a loud, big dog sorta way. He barks, not because he is hurt, more out of boredom, he barks if I’m on the phone, if I’m on the computer, if I’ve just finished petting him, if I’m in the bathroom, well, you get the picture. I spoke with a pet obedience trainer who advised me to treat the behavior like a child’s annoying behavior, ignore it and it will go away. BWAAHAA, Norman upped the anti and barks more and louder! Time out is my new thing. Upon avoiding one warning of “few more minutes, night night good boy” (which has always worked in the past), Norman now gets dragged to the bedroom and I shut the door to give us some space. His timeout lasts less than two minutes as his attention span is less than that and usually works for a little while. (Thank goodness for my sweet girl, Bailey, who is such an easy dog to share my life.)

Work…it is what it is, I do not like being in a position where I’m not happy with my job. I can’t change it and in my heart I’m deeply grateful to have a decent job in this economy. I’m just tired of the “no good deed will go unpunished” operating theory.

So, while I’m on a whiney roll, I thought I’d list a few pet peeves, perhaps some bloggers will relate, and some bloggers may think I need to get a life, (thank you, I have one, it is good, but to each life some rain must fall, and it’s cloudy weather here in my world at the moment)!

My random list of current pet peeves:

Public forums for single women where married women join a discussion thread to talk about their married lives. Hello, the heading is “single” why are you posting there about how long you’ve been married? This trend seems to happen regularly on the RQ site, which is why I limit my postings about “single life” to closed forums.

Married women who complain when their husband/S.O. is away that they have had to be a “single mother.” OMG – get real, you have the security of another paycheck and a backup pair of hands; try balancing responsibility of a home, a family, auto repairs, health issues, and finances all on your own. I’m not there yet (ala single mother) but I can tell this will be a hot button for me.

Politicians that only help constituents when it brings them into the spotlight. This is directed to Kay Bailey Hutchinson, a fellow adoptive parent, who never responded to my previous writing. Umm, Kay, not a good way to recruit voters if you’re going to run for governorship. (Shout out to Rep Hensarling and Sen Cornyn for their previous efficient and helpful responses!)

The local immigration office. Today marks 7 weeks since my fingerprints were taken for the third time in the 171 process. You’ve got my money. Really now, how long does it take to stamp a document with “good for another 18 months.”

Rude coworkers (please note that drama queens are cute on toddlers, not grown adults), neighbors who don’t mow their lawns, selfish people, hair dressers that do not understand that a ½” trim does not mean chop 2” off of layers, oh, and one more, whiney people! LOL

Ok, vent over. I’m off to climb out of my whiney pit. Please pass the chocolate!

Life. A perspective by Mother Teresa

2009-06-23T17:46:00.001-05:00

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is costly, care for it.
Life is wealth, keep it.
Life is love, enjoy it.
Life is mystery, know it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is life, fight for it.

~ Mother Teresa ~

In memory of my dad, who would have been 72 today. He was my hero, the man who taught me to enjoy life's humorous moments, that sarcasm can be funny, that a hug really can heal life's disappointments, and a man that loved my mother with true, lifetime devotion. For that last one, he is also the man I will forever judge all my relationships by. Miss ya, Dad, and when we meet again in heaven, I will ask why you never told Mom "no," thus leaving your kids to deal with that one! LOL (note: inside family joke)

Finding a new church home

2009-06-21T14:57:00.004-05:00

It's Sunday. All week I've psyched myself up to visit church again. I have a church home, my family's church. Over the years it wasn't seeming to meet my needs. The pastor, I love, his sermons inspire me; at rough times in my life he has been a confidant and guide. My soul needed more though. As I sat in the congregation, I looked around and saw a lack of diversity. In my heart I knew it was time to start seeking a place where my daughter wouldn't stand out in the crowd, even a congregation as nice as my church home.

This weekend I kept studying the myriad of Sunday School classes at a different church. It was time to move from the sanctuary to the next level. Sunday morning arrived, I reviewed the spreadsheet online again, knowing full well that the only way to find a place in a mega-church is to connect with the smaller groups. I made deals with myself. First the dogs would get a long walk, if there was time, I'd go to Sunday School, otherwise, just try the Sunday worship as opposed to my occasional visits to the Saturday evening service. Ok, dogs were walked, and I managed to shower, dress and even curl my hair in record time. The Lord was making this too easy. Satan was pulling me the other way. Finally I told myself I could visit the nearby Super Target if I just went. (Nothing like incentive, right, besides God knows my heart.)

I show up at the mega-church and found a quick parking spot. Ok, not funny Lord. If He kept this up, I'd have time to find a Sunday School class rather than ducking into the Sanctuary for the early service. I ran up the steps and entered the door. A woman was getting a cup of coffee and looked over. I smiled and was greeted in return. I saw her enter the first church classroom nearby. The sign on the door said Womens Bible Class - All Ages. Ok, Lord, not funny, obviously I was meant to enter the door. I walked in and took a seat in the front row, kinda close to the door...

It was a small class, only about a dozen women. I noticed many name badges on the wall and wondered if this was the typical size or if a very large number of women were already at Target, instead of in Sunday School. The women were a friendly mix of single and married, most my age or a older. I truly didn't want to judge, but I'll admit to thinking "hmphh, this class is too small." Ok, Goldilocks, what did I want? I'd asked for a smaller group and one had been presented right to me, as soon as I had entered the church.

I looked ahead at the posters on the wall, it was then that my heart skipped a beat, the first poster I read said "CHINA - moving toward opportunity." The next poster spoke to my soul:

GO where you never thought you would.
DO what you never thought you could.
BE who you always knew you should.
Take Jesus to China.

To be honest, I didn't fully get all I could out of the class lesson, I felt unprepared. I was distracted. My eyes continued to be drawn back to the posters. Each line spoke to me. Maybe I've found a church home afterall.

All of this reminds me, God is in control. Everything will be ok. I can step out of the boat and not sink if I keep my faith in Him.

And that trip to Target...well, Chloe now has a nice assortment of sippy cups and BPA-free dishes. Maybe one day in the future, as we sit down to eat, I'll be able to share with her how I found our church home, and that God truly does work in mysterious ways.

The outtakes

2009-06-20T04:51:00.001-05:00

While I had the camera at taking pictures of the LID inchworm, I thought I would attempt some photos of the dogs in the newly cleaned-out spare room. With the help of my mom and a large stash of early adoption wait shopping, the room was recently transformed from a storage catch-all to a combo craft room (for now) and future play room.

Yeah, we can cooperate, but our posture won't win us any dog show awards.

Hey, where's the camera, I need to show my best side.
What's up with this? It's so hard to get a good picture of Norman (camera shy) and then Bailey has her eyes closed! (My brother said Bailey was prob complaining about the lighting not being right for her photo shoot and working with amateurs...)Uhm, this is not how self-timer works, my girl loves to be up close on the action...

Camera hog...
Norman has his party face on, meanwhile Bailey's has her sights set on greener pastures...

And that's a wrap, Bailey's definitely over this photo shoot.

Really, how long is a minute?

2009-06-19T07:20:00.005-05:00

Oh bother, just lovely. That's what I thought to myself as I felt my footing slip in the mud and my body slowly fall to the concrete. Really, skinned knees at my age? The dogs and I were having a nice brisk walk this morning, and I slipped on the smallest patch of mud from a yard's sprinklers. Perhaps it was payback for my staring too long at a neighbor's garden, or just as likely because my thoughts were distracted and I wasn't truly enjoying the moment, a breezy coolness of the early day in the beginnings of a too hot Texas summer.

It's funny though how falls, like traffic accidents, seem to happen in slow motion. It's in that instant that I wonder if I could just reach out, grab for safety and stop the hurling of the moment. Yet, fun times with family and friends seem to go by so quickly.

How will it be in that moment when my daughter is at last place in my arms? Knowing in advance it will happen quickly, but what will there be a moment of time in slow motion. Will our hearts connect quickly or will it be the slow natural bonding, where one day I look back and barely remember time before her. Possibly it will be both, ok, my heart will prob connect quicker, whereas Chloe may want more time to build the trust. I pray that God grants her love each day until we our brought together into a family at last. It seems like such a cliche now to have heard so many BTDT families say the heartache of the wait fades away in an instant on that blessed gotcha day. For now though, the days pass slowly, while the minutes fly by.

How long is a minute?
(author unknown)

A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God."

God," he said, "how long is a million years?"

God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."

The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"

God answered, "To me, it's a penny."

The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"

God answered, "In a minute."

Inching closer to Chloe - 37 months

2009-06-18T23:47:00.000-05:00

Today is the 37th month anniversary of my LID. Funny how the first year, each month was celebrated. Then in the 2nd year it was just odd, as the third year of anniversaries approached, I went from sad to acceptance (slow learner!).

In honor of yet another anniversary, my mood has changed to more optimism and instead of looking back, I'm ready to look forward and mark off the days referred until my LID. I recently noticed a travel mate had made a paper link chain to represent the rest of the LIDs until our LID. Since it finally feels like its going to happen in less than a year, I followed their idea with a twist. When my nieces were learning to read in 1st grade, the teacher encouraged them to make a wall caterpillar with an oval for each book they read. Needless to say, their caterpillars wrapped the walls of their rooms and went down the hallway. The ladybug represents my log-in, May 18, 2006.
The body of the caterpillar is made up of ovals with one LID on each oval.
In anticipation of the next referrals going through March 20th, I'm looking forward to shortening the inch worm by removing 6 days off his body!

A Month of Celebrations

2009-06-15T22:17:00.009-05:00

This past May was such a special month of celebrations in my family. One niece graduated college summa cum laude and my other niece graduated high school 4th in her class of over 400. They are not just great students, but also great friends. Sometimes I feel sad that Chloe won't have a sister so close, my heart is comforted though by knowing that these girls will be awesome cousins and role models.

Sweet sisters, dearest friends

May 2009 also brought the 36 month anniversary of my paperwork being logged in China. Being busy with the graduation preps and celebration parties made the anniversary so much more bearable as it was easy to feel the love and support of family and friends. Plus, now that 3 years have gone by, I truly feel that much closer to my daughter, and Lord willing, I believe I will see her face in the next six to nine months. Along the way, rumor queen posted some revised projections and I can't even express how stoked I was to see my LID on the chart at last. Even with the worst case projections, my heart has been lifted. What a difference this feels since I've been saying "another year" for so long!

Come on, play along!

2009-05-19T22:28:00.003-05:00

Saw this here and thought it would be fun to play along.
Here are the rules: Bold the things you’ve done and post on your blog!
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii - on my bucketlist
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyworld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo - in the shower, not in public!
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child - definitely hope to accomplish this soon!
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables - on my bucketlist
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train - on my bucketlist
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked - people still do this???
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - today, ssshhh!
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon - a half-marathon is on my bucketlist!
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - HAH
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke - see #10 above!
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - really need to get on the ball with this one
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - on my bucketlist
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China - soon, soon, Lord willing, see #15 above!!!
57. Started a business - a sign company with my ex many eons ago
58. Taken a martial arts class - been seriously considering this one!
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen - want to do this
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching - on my bucketlist
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving - on my bucketlist
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check - aarrgghhh
68. Flown in a helicopter - on my bucketlist
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt (still working on this one)
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person - even hiked to the bottom!
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous - didn't technically "meet" him, but frmr Senator Bob Dole once invited me to share his private elevator when I was lost in the State Capitol!
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby - will never know this experience.
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
Okay - who else wants to play?

thirty-six months

2009-05-18T21:52:00.004-05:00

Just waiting...
Almost afraid to hope or think
Feeling numb protects my tears from flowing
Yet my heart knows, time will pass
Faith reminds me my daughter will find her way
And a family we will be at last.

May You Be Safe While You're Waiting

(author unknown)

May you be safe and sleep soundly through the night

May you be safe as you wake to the morning's light

May you feel my love from so far away,

May it comfort and protect you throughout each day.

I will pray for you my little one,

Until our time of waiting is done.

I will pray that the Lord keep you safe from harm,

Until the child of my heart becomes the child in my arms.

Positive Adoption Messages

2009-05-15T13:42:00.002-05:00

Pro-Adoption Ad to appear on the finale of American Idol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIBZ-kJ6XAc

Foster Care Adoption Ad from the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption
http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/How-You-Can-Help/Just-A-Kid

Sometimes...

2009-05-12T17:34:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I just need a little Pooh wisdom in my life:

Promise me you’ll always remember:
You’re braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem, and
smarter than you think.
~ Christopher Robin to Pooh

I kinda intentionally overlooked mentioning Mother's Day on my blog. My sister and I only had time for a quick visit with my Mom on Sunday. My family decided to postpone a MD celebration until we're not so busy next month. I loved my sister's saying, "we've got enough family events going on that pretty soon we'll be sick of visiting with our own selves, much less each other!"

My Mom is my confidant, my inspiration and my best friend. And the person who understood that this year, at this time, just staying busy with hobbies, projects, and running around is the best thing to cope yet another Hallmark holiday. But like Christopher Robin's advice to Pooh, we are "braver than we believe...and stronger than we seem." I really believe next year will be different.

"Most Friendliest"

2009-05-11T23:44:00.011-05:00

May is a monumental month in my family with both my nieces graduating, one from college and one from high school. This past weekend kicked-off the whirlwind of activities with Allie's prom. She and her boyfriend are such good sports about having their pictures taken, and after a couple years of great photos, the pressure was on to capture a standout image again. After taking over 80 pix(!), here's a few of my favs.

It takes a village to get a girl ready, even Gracie the cat wanted to get in on the action.
I wanted them to do a dance with a twirl to show off the dress. It took a few tries to get there.

Awww...sweetness
My sister's latest fav technique, off-centering, came out very nice.
I love this artsy one and really think the tux rental place should use it on display. I asked them to lean against the wall and somehow this cute photo came out.

Allie was awarded "Most Friendliest," which she truly is with her beautiful inner spirit, wit, and outgoing personality. All of this from the little girl who was once too shy to leave her mother's side during kindergarten, to the beautiful young lady she has blossomed into today. Love ya cutie!

All pics taken with my trusty Kodak Easyshare, circa 2006, hoping for a grown up camera one day! LOL

Dipping my feet back in the water

2009-05-09T01:36:00.002-05:00

I've taken some time off from the blogging world. Ok, that's an understatement. I totally went MIA from blogging in order to refocus, develop new interests and stay busy. Time away is good for the soul. I didn't want "life to happen, while I was busy making plans." I'll never understand the reasons for this wait, and yet, in my heart I know that this wait has made me grow as a person, in ways I never imagined and probably in some ways I didn't want to but knew it was for the best. I have more confidence in myself and my abilities, which I hope will translate into being a better person and a better parent.

Along the way, I've learned to deal blackjack, remodel my home with tile, paint and glaze cabinets, paint and distress furniture, and lots of manual labor.

My newest love though is sewing. It started with wanting a few new window treatments, which caused me to dust off my 20+ year old machine to see if it would even turn on. Gotta love a good 'ole Sears product! What started simply has turned into a new passion. I've learned to make tote bags and clutches. I browsed a few blogs (of course!) and fell in love with boutique-style children's clothing, especially when modeled by some Asian cuties. Now I'm shopping for a new sewing machine, one that will do more than just sew a straight line. Quilts squares, anyone? It may be time to refocus on that 100 good wishes quilt.

History in the Making

2009-01-20T22:49:00.002-06:00

What an awesome day in the history of our country. Personal politics aside, I am looking forward to his ideas and leadership of our great country. One of my fav moments from the inauguration ceremony has to be the approval of his 7 year old daughter, right after the swearing in ceremony when she gave her dad the universal signal of approval...thumbs up.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T16:04:00.001-06:00

The joy of enjoying

and the fullness of living

are found in the heart

that is filled with thanksgiving."

~ Helen Steiner Rice ~

Things that make you go hmmmm....

2008-11-24T16:21:00.004-06:00

Ok, I'll admit initially in this adoption journey I was all excited about the ladybug lore. Some where along the way though, it lost its magic, even last week I had a random thought about ladybug excitement being cr*p. Well, what happens when you least expect it and a ladybug shows up in the oddest of places, at just a moment in time when you might have missed it. That's what happened to me today...

I wasat work finishing up some lthings, prepping to be off for Thanksgiving week, and chatting on the phone with my sister about Thanksgiving, holiday shopping, and already planning for all the January birthdays in my family. I randomly looked out my office window and saw a ladybug outside, on the 16th floor of my office building! OMG, funny how that old lore creeps back in, and we couldn't help but wonder if this meant something...could it be...did we dare to think it...was something miraculous happening on the other side of the world...nevertheless, I had to grab a picture with my cellphone. My sister immediately said a November birthday would be fun to celebrate in our family. She encouraged me to document that moment just in case one day I can look back and find a correlation. Of course, she's the same person who also agreed I should "buy" something to mark the occasion (I've been lacking in doing my part to help stimulate the economy) so off to the Hanna Anderson and Gymboree sales I headed after work! (yes, that's smog in the horizon of the picture, ugh)

No telling if it means something or not, but for just a moment in time it was nice to have that old familiar feeling, the one of wonder and endless hope that still lives on in this long adoption wait, the magical myths of ladybug luck. And the shopping sales, well, I limited myself to only clearance markdowns, but let's just say Chloe's got a cute new floral Hanna dress, some Gap capris, and an Autumn outfit from Gymboree. Gotta love those pick me up moments in life, those special times when God chooses a simple moment in time to bless us with his quiet touch and gently reminder of His awe!

And yet another anniversary (sigh)

2008-11-18T13:24:00.000-06:00

Another month checked off the calendar, and yet I don't feel any closer today. It has to be this time of year, the holidays, the festivities, the traditions and celebrations. All I want is for this time to past. Deep inside I know the best motto is to enjoy the moment - hah - whoever said that never waited for a child they don't even know, a child that has been born in their heart, with an unknown timeline.

I want to dance, I want my dreams to be a reality.
But what happens if the elusion of a future life isn't as grandiose as my dreams make up. Somehow it's easier to not think about the trying times ahead, coping as a single with a limited income, time constraints, pressure, meltdowns, instead, I choose to think about my child laughing, smiling, dancing, and the image I await, a precious little one sleeping in her room at last.

Day Dreaming
(author unknown)

I stepped into her room today
Knowing she’s not there
This waiting for referral
Is more than one can bear.

But taking in the moment
I sit down on the floor
And dream of her here with me
When waiting is no more.

A little giggle fills the air
As I rub her feet
I place my hand upon her heart
To feel it’s every beat.

A song is sung so very soft
Her eyes begin to close
She’s meeting me in dream land
A place where love still grows.

My vision now is very blurred
The tears stream down my cheeks
I’ve dreamed of her quite often
Throughout these past few weeks.

Suddenly a sound is heard
The phone rings in the hall
Waking up I quickly pray
Please let it be "The Call."

Saluting Vets

2008-11-11T17:07:00.003-06:00

They Did Their Share

On Veteran’s Day we honor

Soldiers who protect our nation.

For their service as our warriors,

They deserve our admiration.

Some of them were drafted;

Some were volunteers;

For some it was just yesterday;

For some it’s been many years.

In the jungle or the desert,

On land or on the sea,

They did whatever was assigned

To produce a victory.

Some came back; some didn’t.

They defended us everywhere.

Some saw combat;

some rode a desk;

All of them did their share.

No matter what the duty,

For low pay and little glory,

These soldiers gave up normal lives,

For duties mundane and gory.

Let every veteran be honored;

Don’t let politics get in the way.

Without them, freedom would have died;

What they did, we can’t repay.

We owe so much to them,

Who kept us safe from terror,

So when we see a uniform,

Let’s say "thank you" to every wearer.

By Joanna Fuchs

Many thanks and blessings also to the military families who sacrifice so much for our freedom.

Ups and downs plus referrals!

2008-11-06T15:57:00.004-06:00

Good grief, over a month since I've posted! I'm thinking about going to a new blog, fresh start perhaps, but mainly because this darn blogger will not work with me on a new template - aarrgghh. I'm so tired of this pink background!!!

On the flip side - referrals! Woo hoo! There are so several fellow bloggers that I've been following since my LID (05-18-06) and it is like celebrating with friends to see special people finally being matched with their daughters. Progress is good, the line is slowly, but steadily, moving forward. Special shout outs to:

Congratulations to these new Mommas and to all the new families formed this week.

More than a coincidence

2008-10-01T12:08:00.005-05:00

Every now and then we are given those moments in time and receive confirmation that we are on the right path. Recently I was browsing Craigs List and noticed a listing for a Pottery Barn toddler bed. (Even though there's at least a year from meeting my future daugther, and even longer before she may need such a bed, a girl's gotta have a little retail therapy along the way!) Anyway, I email the seller asking if the pictured mattress is included and if the bed could be disassembled for storage since I wouldn't need it for awhile due to long wait in adopting from China.

The sellers emailed right back with, "OMG, we adopted from China also and this is the bed our daughter used!" I had chills when I read their email and immediately called my Mom to see if I should buy the bed or not. It was a good price, and basically all I "need" furniture-wise is the crib mattress. I truly hadn't planned on buying a used mattress but figured if the seller had pottery barn furniture, then surely, the mattress was coming from a clean home. I was so excited to email back to buy the bed. The couple said I had to meet their little girl (adopted 2 years ago) when I came to pick it up.

My Mom, a girlfriend and I drove across the metroplex to meet the family and they were such a treat. We spent a couple of hours with them, watched their gotcha/travel video, and spent time with their sweet daughters. They also passed along several extra pieces of Pottery Barn bedding, a crib size duvet and cover, a brand new potty chair.

This family lives about 40 miles from me and they were such a joy, we all truly felt like God had a hand in bringing us together. The 3 year anniversary is coming up on when I initially received my single's slot to be able to start the adoption process from China. It felt wonderful to meet such a special family through the Internet and receive confirmation that I am on the right path, even if it is taking a very long time.

Waiting to build a family has so many ups and downs. I just wanted to share one of the special ups and also pass along my wish for others in the wait that you may feel a renewed hope when the wait seems so long and the dream of a family is so big.

2008-09-14T11:55:00.003-05:00

Ok, I've been meaning to post more regularly as I miss communicating with so many bloggers in this wait. I thought one good way would be to have a weekly post of some positive quotes, but last night's SNL skit was too funny not to share. Tina F*y was awesome!

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/palin-hillary-open/656281/#share_content

A couple of my fav lines:
- the comment about Sarah wearing the "Tina F*y glasses" and Hilary stating she "should have wanted it more!"

And now for the positive quote:

United We Stand

2008-09-11T13:48:00.003-05:00

God Bless America

The meaning of XXVII

2008-08-18T23:46:00.010-05:00

Number of bones in the human hand = 27

Number of cubies in a Rubik's cube = 27 (center cube is invisible)

The sun rotates on its axis once in about 27 days.

Number of letters in the Hebrew alphabet is 27.

At age 27:

John Smith (1580-1631) leads first English settlement in North America at Jamestown, Virginia (1607) & saved from death by Pocohontas
Napoleon (1769-1821) named commander of the army of Italy (March 2, 1796)
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) moves to Walden Pond (July 4, 1845)
Grace Kelly (1929-1982) marries Prince Rainier of Monaco (1956) and retires from films
Julie Andrews (born 1935) stars in her first film Mary Poppins (1963) and wins Oscar for the Best Actress (1964)
Richard Dreyfuss (born 1947) stars in film Jaws (1975)
Garry Trudeau (born 7-21-1948) becomes the youngest to receive Yale honorary degree (1976) for his Doonesbury comic strip which he started at 20 while at Yale.

Sleeplessness & Separation in 27th Sonnet of William Shakespeare:

Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed, The dear repose for limbs with travel tired; But then begins a journey in my head. To work my mind, when body's work's expired: For then my thoughts— from far where I abide—Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee, And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,Looking on darkness which the blind do see: Save that my soul's imaginary sightPresents thy shadow to my sightless view,Which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night, Makes black night beauteous, and her old face new. Lo! thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind, For thee, and for myself, no quiet find.

Shao Yung (1011-1077), Supreme Principles Governing the World, Section 27:

The mind is the Great Ultimate. The human mind should be as calm as still water. Being calm, it will be tranquil. Being tranquil, it will be enlightened.

In the study of prior existence, sincerity is basic. Perfect sincerity can penetrate all spirits. Without sincerity, the Way cannot be attained.

Our nature comes from Heaven, but learning lies with man. Our nature develops from within, while learning enters into us from without. "It is due to our nature that enlightenment results from sincerity," but it is due to learning that sincerity results from intelligence. The learning of a sage aims precisely at enriching his mind. The rest, such as governing people and handling things, is all secondary.

Without sincerity, one cannot investigate principle to the utmost. Sincerity is the controlling factor in one's nature. It is beyond space and time. He who acts in accordance with the Principle of Nature will have the entire process of creation in his grip. When the Principle of Nature is achieved, not only his personality, but his mind also, are enriched.

(Wing-Tsit Chan, A Source Book in Chinese Philosophy, 1963, p. 493)

Number of books in the new testament: 27.

The book of Revelation is the 27th book and last book of the New Testament.

In the 27th Psalm, David sustains his faith by the power of God:

The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen

thine heart, wait, I say, on the Lord.

Number of months my paperwork has been collecting dust in pile somewhere in China: 27!

Ok, Lord, lets talk about Psalm 27 and that waiting business!

(I have no idea why this spacing is so off!)

2008-07-04T11:29:00.002-05:00

Fire-up the grills! It's bbq time! Family, friends, fun!

I've been up since 6am sewing the final valance for my dining room, mowing the grass, bathing the dogs, omg, I'm tired now! A few minutes to kickback then it's time to shower, clean the house, and prepare for a small family get together. Yes, I'm nuts! But staying "extremely" busy has been one of the best cures for the long wait process. Pretty soon I'll be unveiling my kitchen remodel. It's taken six months as I've done most of the work myself. Nothing like seeing a project finally come together!

Hope everyone has a fun and safe celebration this weekend!

Reaching 25

2008-06-19T07:03:00.003-05:00

Where did the past month go? Maybe it's due to summer, but it feels like time is moving faster. At the end of the day it struck me, 18, hmm, why does that ring a bell. Gosh, another month behind me in the long wait - that's bad when the wait has become so long that I don't even realize my own log-in anniversary! LOL

I came across this poem at a scrapbook convention this month and look forward to the day when the words become my reality.

Daughter

A daughter may
outgrow your lap...
but she will never
outgrow your heart.

You have a smile
that lights up
the world.

Chance made you
my daughter...
love made you
my friend.

The time has come...

2008-06-02T22:14:00.011-05:00

It finally happened, I traded in my old wheels for a vehicle that will one day allow more room for two large dogs and a car seat. I couldn't see Chloe and the large pups sharing the back seat.

Here's a few pics to remember my faithful old Honda. Both dogs absolutely love car rides, so I often take them riding around the neighborhood, to the grocery store or to run local errands. They even would be content to sit in the back seat while the car was parked in the garage. Norman's idea of a good ride was to sit up straight behind the driver's seat. (He's also camera shy and gives me his serious face when the camera is out!)

Silly guy was never brave enough to put more than the tip of his nose out the window.

Meanwhile, Bailey loved to hang her head out the window during slow rides:
And even looked at me on occasion as if to say, "Are we there yet?"

All in all though, I will miss watching these lips and ears flapping in the breeze:

The Lords prayer by Zoei Isabelle Toh

2008-05-23T10:09:00.002-05:00

It's Friday, a holiday weekend, work is cutting out early, life is good. Here's something my niece shared with me that makes me smile. This little girl has a whole collection on YouTube.

Midnight Comes Too Soon

2008-05-22T09:17:00.003-05:00

Steven Curtis Chapman lost his youngest daughter last night in a tragic accident at his home. It seems her older brother was driving an SUV and didn't see her playing in the driveway. This family has such a strong Christian faith that will help sustain them, but my heart goes out each of them and especially the teen age son at this time. The Chapman family has assisted so many adoptive familes with his Shoahannah's Hope foundation. Comments for the family can be left on a memorial blog --> In Memory of Maria.

I recently attended a funeral where a teenage boy accidentally backed his truck into his grandfather, the man who had raised him. These events are a wake up call for not only ourselves, but hopefully, also for auto manufacturers to make rear view cameras standard on vehicles.

Steven C2 wrote the song "Cinderella" for his youngest daughter, Maria, listen here.

Grab a tissue... "I will dance with Cinderella while she is here in my arms...I don't want to miss even one song because all too soon the clock will strike midnight and...she'll...be...gone."

Dance with the angels precious Maria, my thoughts and prayers go out to your family in this tragic time.

Reaching 24 and Building Hope

2008-05-18T21:41:00.008-05:00

24 Month Anniversary! Who would have thought! Like most of us adopting internationally, I never expected the wait to take this long when I started out. It is sad, frustrating, challenging, and yet, I've also seen myself grow in the process.

My mom and my sister-in-law helped celebrate the 2 year anniversary of my paperwork logged in China by visiting Build A Bear. Stuffed animals are the one item I have resisted buying during this wait as I hear from friends that they tend to multiply so easily. We made a panda bear and named it Hope. I'm thinking about taking pictures with "Hope" at different events throughout the year and perhaps using some of the photos to send to in a care package to my future daughter when I finally receive a referral. My thought is I would send a small panda along also and then have this special "Hope" awaiting her when she arrives home.

We also took "Hope" along on some of our shopping ventures, especially when we visited White Black Market - a women's clothing store that only sells white and black clothing - I love that place!

After a yummy meal at a local Asian restaurant, we headed to an outlet mall for another marathon shopping trip.

Peeking Out

2008-05-17T14:10:00.005-05:00

Stepping out again in the world of blogging. I felt the need to go underground due to an uncomfortable dating situation. Dating can be interesting and yet so frustrating. Singles have to risk sharing, and sometimes that risk leads us to a scary place. Am I crazy to try again? Or more of a glutton for punishment? Mainly I know it helps pass the wait, and yet the hopeful/curious side of me wonders...should I keep stepping out, testing the waters...hope floats on...

The scenes of China's earthquake this week are tragic. At times I find myself searching the web for pictures, articles, and then other times, when it all is so sad and unbearable, I step away into my comfortable existence. It's at those times that I feel guilty for having so much, when others can't even find their loved ones, much less a safe and comfortable place to sleep at night.

On this eve of my two year log-in date, I finished reading "Falling Leaves, The Memoir of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter." I've been hesitant to read this book, mistakingly thinking it was about an orphaned Chinese girl. Last night I stepped into a tiny, older used bookstore and happened to find this book nestled in between this historical biographies on China and its history. This book captivated my attention so much that I stayed up all night to finish it. The author writes of the hardship of growing up in China after the 1949 revolution and through the Communist take-over. She was considered "bad luck" by her family since her mother died in giving birth to her, the fifth child in the family. She spent her life trying to seek her family's approval, and yet she was only shunned and left with such an emotional void, no matter what she was able to accomplish outside of her family. Through so much emotional abuse, she still triumphed in carving out a life for herself.

The story is sad, heart-wrenching, and yet the author tends to write in a detached way that also shares so much of China's ongoing history and the cultural traditions that continu to prevail. It is then that I am reminded how wonderful my family is, encouragement and acknowledgement of my successes and support through my failures are the foundation of my roots. That in itself, is one of my favorite gifts from my family that I look forward to sharing with my future daughter.

He Is Risen

2008-03-23T20:26:00.004-05:00

Truly,

He is Risen!

May Easter blessing be with you and yours,

and dare I say,

may one day our families be complete,

and those of us that wait for our first child,

may we finally experience sharing

bunnies, easter egg hunts, new dresses,

and most of all,

sharing His message.

This is what I have learned from the Easter Bunny ...

Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.

There's no such thing as too much candy.

All work and no play can make you a basket case.

A cute tail attracts a lot of attention.

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.

Some body parts should be floppy.

Keep your paws off of other people's jelly beans.

Good things come in small, sugar coated packages.

The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.

To show your true colors, you have to come out of the shell.

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.

May the joy of the season fill your heart.

Happy Easter!

Just call me Gump!

2008-02-09T08:27:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was one of those days that could only happen to a blonde or Forr*est Gump.

I've mentioned my jekyl and hyde coworker in the past, well this person offices right next door to me and hasn't spoken or done other than glare at me since the Christmas holiday. I, of course, have no reason what sin I committed to benefit from this latest round of evil attitude. But yesterday's event will probably sentence me to a full year of more glares and knives in my back from her. On the flip side though, I think the event was hilarious and could only happen to me.

See, yesterday was a big event in my employer's history due to a splitting of the company into two separate entities that will now compete against each other. Photographers were brought in to memorialize the execs signing the official documents. To be honest I only worked on that project a little in the beginning and then just the other day to help organize all the docs for final signature, corporate docs aren't in my area. So I didn't realize the photo op was going on in the boardroom, behind closed doors mind you, and I walk up to give something to the receptionist, a simple highliter that I had borrowed from her desk the night before, nothing major mind you. Then I see the atty I worked with on organizing the docs the day before and the general counsel walking in the boardroom. They both tell me to come into the boardroom to watch the signing of the papers. Ok, cool I'm all for hanging out and watching this momentous event. Then...they decide to do a group photo, I hang in the back but the Exec VP tells me to come on. Now I can feel the glares in my back from the coworker because she really did work a lot on that project, but c'mon corporate docs are her area. So now it goes down in the corporate history that I'm in on the photo op (along with the evil minded coworker who worked hard on the project)! Due to height, I end up in the front row for the pics and she ends up in the backrow! One day soon when the printed pictures are handed out around the company, I fully expect my coworker to cut me out of the pic because it will just irritate her more and subject me to further attitude. My brother suggested I frame the pic in my office so she can see it any time she has to speak to me! hehee

On the grand scheme its kinda funny because really I just happened to be there at that moment in time and got dragged into a pic of one of the most memorable moments in this company's corporate history. Now tell me, does this stuff happen to other people except on tv??? My sister swears I'm just like Forrest G*mp and the way he kept ending up in presidential photos! LOL

Gung Hay Fat Choy

2008-02-07T20:05:00.002-06:00

Happy Chinese New Year 2008--The Year of the Rat

I haven't even caught up on posts from the last year! Well, everyone says to keep busy for distraction during the wait so here's a few items I need to post about:

Finding my soul at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
I really know how to party on New Year's Eve (not!)
Why I will need to marry a man with tools.

I would love to write about overcoming procrastination, but obviously I haven't figured that one out yet! Regardless, Gung Hay Fat Choy, and may your joys be many and your belly be full of goodness!

Happy Holidays!

2007-12-24T12:18:00.001-06:00

To my blogging buddies, through the magic of the Internet we've shared good times and sad times, and this holiday season finds me so grateful to be able to connect with so many people that I may not have had the chance to meet in real life. I'm so happy for the many families that are celebrating this holiday with their special family additions from China. To those that continue to wait, I hope you find contentment in the joy of the season and faith that each day brings you closer to your little one.

For those celebrating Christmas, may you feel the blessings of the spirit of Christ, and for those celebrating in other faiths, may joy fill your days. Most of all, may peace, love and fulfillment be found in your homes this holiday season and throughout the coming year.

Happy 19 Months Down

2007-12-18T20:00:00.000-06:00

To quote my sister, "surely we can say the wait is half over now!"

My posts have been so sporadic lately. I hope to improve on that in the near future. My job has finally reached a place where the work atmosphere isn't atomic, and that has greatly improved my overall outlook. I hope it continues!

19 months down, looking forward to 2008!

Poem: A Moonbeam

2007-12-10T21:32:00.000-06:00

A Moonbeam

Take a glimpse into the sky
And if a moonbeam hits your eye
Follow it back to whence it came
And dream of a child who'll bear your name.

A little one may look right back
And follow a beam along it's track
And see a mother awaiting the day
In who's arms forever to stay.

by Tom Fisher

With Thanks

2007-11-22T07:10:00.000-06:00

I've been missing from the blogging world for some time now. Blogger gave me problems trying to comment on other's blogs. Actually, I just needed some time to find my bearings. The roller-coaster adoption wait compounded with computer techie issues, and the sheer desire to need a break allowed me the time I needed to find my bearings. I also came across this quote that has helped the wait recently...

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.

To my blogging buddies, wishing you many happy memories and joyful times with families and friends. For even though there are so many people I have met through the adoption community on the Internet, but may never meet in person, please know that you have helped me to be a better person, and one day, a better mom. And for those that wait, my time ease our sorrow, and the joy of smiling faces and sticky hands find their way into our homes at last.

To those who wait, time opens every door.
~ Chinese proverb ~

Because we have the choice...

2007-09-11T06:42:00.000-05:00

To honor,

and not to forget...

Yeah Arthur!

2007-08-31T14:05:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite, and least annoying, kids shows is Arthur on PBS. At last, the special 2 part episode featuring adoption is set to air on Sept 7th on PBS. Arthur's best friend, Binky, and his family will adopt a little girl from China. The writers and producers worked with Adoptive Families magazine and according to the review (below) it sounds like it will be a positive and fun show focusing on China adoptions and building families through adoption.

Review from Susan Avery(?):
About adoption or watch wrestling? It's a no-brainer for "Binky Barnes," the lovably dim-witted character on Arthur, the long-running PBS cartoon, who finds out that his parents will be adopting a baby from China. He chooses wrestling, and his detached reaction caused concern for his parents-and this reviewer. Much to my surprise, and delight, the concern was short-lived.

The executive producer of Arthur, and his team, did everything right this time. The two episodes on adoption, airing this fall, "Big Brother Binky, Parts I and II," get the facts right and, equally important, the words and emotions.

Once Mom and Dad explain adoption, Binky is as excited as they are. He joins them on the year-long adoption roller-coaster, and has his own moments of insecurity and jealousy. The boy's beloved game room becomes his new sister's bedroom; his mom sews a bai jia bei, a "quilt of 100 wishes," which is a tradition in Northern China (and something he never had). And rightbefore the big day, he needs the dreaded travel immunizations. "This baby better be worth it," he mutters, expressing a common sentiment among older siblings.

"The conversations with Adoptive Families had us looking at adoption more carefully. We came up with a story line that felt true to the subject."

The episodes are a must-watch. Executive producer Pierre Valette put two years of thought and research into these shows, talking to those in the PBS family who've adopted or who were adopted. To his credit, Valette also consulted adoption experts, to assure that the story line was both authentic and inoffensive, something that didn't happen a few years ago. In that misstep, an Arthur episode titled "Dear Adil," Arthur finds a box of his father's childhood letters from a foreign penpal. As he reads them, D.W., his four-year-old sister, walks into the room. "Are those from your realparents?" she blurts.

At the time, PBS dismissed concerns from adoptive parents, saying they saw no problem with such a remark. After several discussions with the editors of Adoptive Families, however, Valette understood, and promised to make it right by treating adoption more thoughtfully in the future.

"The conversations with Adoptive Families definitely had us looking at adoption more carefully," he said recently, in his office at WGBH in Boston. "We did a lot of research and came up with a story line that felt true to the subject and true to the characters, as well. Binky is kind of tough onthe outside but very sensitive."

After putting up with days, and nights, of baby Mei Lin's crying, Binky cracks in Part II. The boy announces to his parents that his sister is not happy and wants to return to her real home. Scriptwriters to the rescue: "This is her real home," say her parents. "When we adopted her, we became her family forever." With Binky set straight, the family goes out for Chinese food, joined by Arthur and his family. Kate, Arthur's little sister, engages in baby talk with Mei Lin, which, when translated, is a light-hearted venting session about their older brothers.

So we became Arthur fans forever. Thanks to Valette and his team for keeping it real.

Set your TIVO/VCR's!

It's been how long?

2007-08-17T14:53:00.000-05:00

Signs you know the wait has been long...when you realize an anniversary of the wait is coming up but you can't remember off-hand exactly how many months have passed! And so went the conversation between my mom and I !

Love the song, but what's with the video?

2007-08-17T14:47:00.000-05:00

In remembrance of the 30th anniversary of Elvis' death, his daughter Lisa Marie has created a virtual duet out of one of his classic songs, In the Ghetto.

For the life of me I can't figure out the video though...couldn't she have found someone with more creative input???

Little girls...

2007-07-31T17:15:00.000-05:00

Borrowed from the June 2000 DTC group:

Little girls are the nicest things that happen to people.

They are born with a little bit of angel-shine about them, and though it wears thinsometimes, there is always enough left to lasso your heart...even whenthey are sitting in the mud, or crying temperamental tears, or parading upthe street in mother's best clothes.

A little girl can be sweeter (and badder) oftener than anyone else in theworld. She can jitter around, and stomp, and make funny noises that frazzleyour nerves, yet just when you open your mouth, she stands there, demure,with that special look in her eyes.

A girl is Innocence playing in the mud,
Beauty standing on its head, and
Motherhood dragging a doll by its foot.

Girls are available in five colors - black, white, red, yellow and brown, yet Mother Nature always manages to select your favorite color when you place your order. They disprove the law of supply and demand - there are millions of little girls, but each is as precious as rubies.

God borrows from many creatures to make a girl. He uses the song of the bird, the squeal of a pig, the stubbornness of the mule, the antics of a monkey, the spryness of a grasshopper, the curiosity of a cat, the speed of a gazelle, the slyness of a fox, the softness of a kitten, and to top it all off, He adds the mysterious mind of a woman.

A little girl likes new shoes, party dresses, small animals, first grade, noise makers, the girl next door, make-believe, cans of water, going visiting, tea parties, and one boy. She doesn't care so much for visitors, boys in general, hand-me-downs, straight chairs, vegetables, snowsuits, or staying in thefront yard.

She is the loudest when you are thinking, the prettiest when she has provoked you, the busiest at bedtime, the quietest when you want to show her off, and the most flirtatious when she absolutely must get the best of you again. Who else can cause you more grief, joy, irritation, satisfaction, embarrassment and genuine delight than this combination of Eve, Salome, andFlorence Nightingale?

She can muss up your home, your hair, and your dignity...and then, just when your patience is ready to crack, her sunshine peeks through and you'relost again. Yes, she is a nerve-wracking nuisance, just a noisy bundle of mischief.

But when your dreams tumble down and the world is a mess...when it seems you are pretty much of a fool after all...she can make you a king when she climbs on your knee and whispers, "I love you most of all!"

Author Unknown

Say what?

2007-07-31T16:29:00.000-05:00

If you've ever been to accupuncture then you know that having your tongue analyzed is a regular part of traditional chinese medicine. I found this interesting tongue analyzer site from my fellow May blogging buddy, Donna.

Apparently, I have yin deficiencies today. If only that were my only deficiency - HAH!

Donna recently spent a fascinating six weeks in Beijing, her travel journal is available at http://missbinbeijing.blogspot.com/

Just do it - Get rid of Vick.

2007-07-24T11:05:00.000-05:00

It's hard to imagine that dog fighting can even take place these days in a civilized society. I have not been able to read the details of Michael Vick's abhorrent animal abuse as it makes me too sick to my stomach.

One of the Internet's best resources is to respond to such indignities by writing and taking quick action. The Humane Society has set up this online campaign to let NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell know it's time to take big action and suspend Michael Vick completely from the NFL.

Sign the petition -> Keep Vick off the field.

Unfortunately, money/celebrities do not equal wit nor role models. "Just Do It" has a whole new meaning for me lately, as in just being able to tell Nike how little I am impressed with their refusal to drop the endorsement contract Vick. If you are so inclined, you can email your thoughts directly to Nike's Customer Service and/or sign an online petition to let Nike know that they need better role models.

14 Month LID-versary!

2007-07-18T14:19:00.000-05:00

Another month checked off, I would love to think I am half-way through the wait!

The local Waiting Families had a special dinner last night for two families soon to be united with their very precious little girls. It felt so good to see others hanging in there during this long wait and also to share in the joy of seeing new moms making progress in building their families through adoption. I can't wait for the day when our "waiting families" group turns into play group sessions full of lively children.

I even received a couple of sweet gifts. Chloe's very first taggie blanket and this board book called "Pat Them Gently" which helps small children learn with simple phrases about interacting with dogs and cats by having the young reader touch the fur on the various pages of the book.

The Big Day!

2007-07-14T10:37:00.000-05:00

The day was finally here. Months and months of planning, decisions, anticipation, and it was a beautiful ceremony. There were several special moments, like when the bride and groom incorporated some vows they had written to each other for part of the service, memorial candles for my dad and some of the bride's family that are no longer with us, and then, special moments that will always make me smile.

Like, my Mom not being able to do a serious walk down the aisle, which drove my brother nuts, she had to greet some very dear friends along the way. Later on, my mother told me she felt bad about not being serious, but I think it is just so her, enjoying life along the way.

The bride and groom with my mom.

Smiling with my nieces and my sister. Formal pose with some very special friends.

Busted! Making faces at the professional photographer when I saw him across the room sitting down. It was pointed out to me later that there were remote cameras around the room and the poor man had been on his feet for about five hours and prob. deserved a break! Oops!

Goofing around with my friend Jennifer.Finally convincing the best man, my brother's longest friendship, to dance and to actually enjoy the dance, even though he is painfully shy.Bride and groom sharing a last dance. The send-off with bubbles. Notice the flower girl, she loved being right in the middle of main events!

Watching my brother give my mother a final hug before he left with his sweet bride. (Notice the flower girl how she made her way around the crowd to be in the middle again - too cute! That girl knows how to work a crowd!)

Wedding day prep...

2007-07-14T09:27:00.000-05:00

On the morning of the wedding, my mom treated all of the girls in my family and the bride to having hair and make-up by having my sweet hairdresser, Rene, come to her house. We quickly turned my mom's house into a salon with all the products spread everywhere! I think my mom is still scrubbing hairspray off her floor though! LOL

I love this pic of my nieces. It captures the behind the scenes moments of final prep in the bridal dressing room at the church.
The bride with her mother and Rene placing finishing touches on the bride.
The veil is on! My mom celebrates with the bride!Meanwhile, I put the cufflinks on a nervous groom. The story behind my shirt...my sister and I both forgot to wear button down shirts that morning, so rather than stretching our t-shirts over our freshly primped-hair, my mom loaned us each one of her traditional button-down, 3/4 sleeve shirts. My sister and I proceeded to walk around calling ourselves mini-Grandma's!

Rehearsal time...

2007-07-13T19:17:00.000-05:00

I love this happy, carefree look of the bride at the rehearsal. Hmmm...still smiling, not nervous at this point!
Few things are as cute as a confident flower girl and ring bearer struting their stuff during the practice run!
My mom and brother at the rehearsal dinner. We know my dad is smiling and watching over the festivities from heaven.

Signs of a great toast, when they touch a person with emotion.
Sharing toasts with each other.

This time last week...

2007-07-13T11:59:00.000-05:00

This time last week my family was preparing for my younger brother's wedding. He is ten years younger than me and has spent the last couple of years with a terrific girl who is so well matched for him. The next few posts document the weekend fun, afterall, 07/07/07 was said to be one of the biggest wedding dates in history thus far.

My nieces and I wondering where to start in our church's reception hall.

My mom and sister decorating ficus trees with lights around the room to soften the look.

Taking a break and playing around with the look of all of our new pedicures!

Ashley, my oldest niece, intently focusing on a project at our "staging" table.

Allie, my youngest niece, doing what any 16 year old does best, continually chatting on the phone and enjoying life!
Me with my sister and mom, right before the rehearsal and trying to make use of every spare moment to keep decorating.

Life Lessons – Take 2

2007-07-11T07:25:00.000-05:00

I recently re-learned that its not just the day to day events, but also in times of need, that we learn more about the bonds of friendships in our lives. Thankfully I was able to find the flipside of real "friends."

Heartstrings

There’s another kind of friend,
One who’s cherished and true.
You know who I’m writing about,
For my friend it is you.

A scare, a situation,
Only bonds us tighter.
I trust you with my life,
And those I treasure most.

How can I thank you,
And let you know your value?
Mere words cannot express
The feelings in my heart.

Our meeting years ago
Was not at all by chance.
For it was the Lord’s own hand
That brought us to this dance.

Your bonds of care transcend
Situations, time and events.
Signs of age are merely
Laugh lines on our faces.

Through memories of laughter or tears,
Joys or fears,
You my friend are part
Of all I hold dear.

~ a poem by me about true friendships

Moral – never trust a man to do a woman’s job!

Life Lessons

2007-07-10T10:25:00.000-05:00

Friendship: The double-edged sword.

After A While

My soul was sad,
so I called a friend.
I asked if I could share my hurts,
My friend replied of course.

A release came forth,
Empathy and encouragement I sought.
Silence was the answer.
Had I been wrong, seeking more than I deserved?

My heart cried out,
why punish my soul more?
For what my friend didn't see,
was the compassion offered more from my own caring dogs.

And so I learned,
when I think I it is safe,
when I risk shared emotion,
Perhaps it is best to just look inside self.

My heart longed for encouragement,
My tired soul sought refuge of words,
and in a tucked away corner,
I found the reserve I needed.

So I thank my friend for teaching me,
about them, yet also about me.
For you see, the answer was there all along,
I just needed to look even deeper.

We assume others, even a friend,
can be a harbor or a shelter,
And after a while you really do learn,
company doesn't mean security.

After a while, you really do learn...

~ a poem by me, who is continually learning about "friends"

What a gift!

2007-07-05T22:18:00.001-05:00

This year I was just going to let my birthday slip by. It just didn't seem to have any special meaning to me as I've rather enjoyed joining in all of the festivities and planning for my brother and his fiance's wedding this coming Saturday. But every now and then we are given a very special gift...today it happened for me. My sister called me bright and early to ask if I had checked the Rumor Queen website (she's addicted too!). I told not since 12:30a.m. last night right before I went to bed as I was hoping to see referral updates for new families. Then she shared with me the special news that May is out of the review room.

YAHOOOOOO! May is out of the review room!

A few tears immediately came to my eyes as I realized what a special gift I had just received. It seems this is a very special birthday after all.

Congrats to my fellow May DTC buddies on this awesome news!

Happy 4th!

2007-07-04T21:17:00.000-05:00

May your celebration be joyous and fun!

My pups will be snoozing with the help of a little Benadryl. Norman just doesn't enjoy the bangs of fireworks! Luckily not much bothers Bailey!

Shopping Alert: Bunny Slippers

2007-06-28T16:22:00.000-05:00

CUTE OVERLOAD! These bunny slippers are only $4 from American Girl! They kept bumping to $6 when buying online so I called customer service to get the $4 price. Also check out the sweet bunny pj's to match!!!

I can just see my dog chasing my little girl around the house in these sweet slippers!

13 months!

2007-06-18T22:13:00.000-05:00

Another LIDversary has rolled around. It's funny how time changes our outlook. I used to eagerly anticipate the 18th of each month and watching the months check off. It wasn't until about mid-day that I realized today is the 13 month LIDversary! The funny thing is I saw the movie Ocean's Thirteen this weekend and it put a smile on my face to realize that subconsciously the number thirteen had been on my mind all along.

It's not that I haven't had China and adoption on my mind, quite the contrary actually. My mother called me Saturday evening with quite a surprise, her hair dresser knew of a woman that is six months pregnant and wants to place her baby for adoption, and would I want to consider a domestic adoption. OMG, what a shock. My first thought was but my daughter has dark hair and almond eyes. My mother went on with the details and said the birthmother is Caucasian and the birthfather is Hispanic, ok, that child will have dark hair. But no, it just didn't feel like my child. My mother summarized my thoughts so well, at one time I would have given "my eye tooth" (?) for that opportunity, but not any longer. The wait may be long, but I know my daughter is in China.

God love her, my mother asked if I could do both, adopt domestically without jeopardizing adopting from China. A quick recap of the new China rules vs. the old rules, would my agency allow it, and HELLOOOO, the reality of whether I could afford two at once, all confirmed my decision that this situation flattered my heart to be considered, but it isn't right for me.

Today I chatted with my sister and told her about the situation. It must run in my family because her first question was "well, can't you do both?" For a brief moment I felt like Angelina Jolie (without her body, entourage of help, and finances) and wondered if my family could be built that easily. The funny thing is that this is the third time I've received such calls. The first two times the children were placed with family. My sister and I laughed about things happening in threes and how funny it would be if God is sitting up high saying good grief, I keep trying to give this girl a child and she walks away! Or is He testing my faith? Regardless, I'm sticking with my heart, my daughter will be from China, and I can wait however long it takes.

At the end of the day I realized how I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that my daughter may be an only child. Kinda like doing what I do best with one, as opposed to doing less than I want and feeling guilty for dividing my time among two little ones.

I celebrated today by spending my lunch hour wandering around Pottery Barn Kids and picking up a very bright pink butterfly hooded towel and wash mitt from the sale section! Soooo cute!

One month countdown

2007-06-07T10:13:00.000-05:00

My younger brother, Steve, is getting married one month from today! Last weekend we all enjoyed a really fun bridal shower for his fiance, Kelly.

The ten year age difference has never mattered between Steve and I as we've always shared a special friendship bond, so it with special pride that I have watched him mature into the man he is becoming. My dad would be so happy for them, I know he is looking down from heaven and smiling.

Steve and Kelly posing with the towel cake my mother made for them:
We played the game where teams have to make a wedding dress out of toilet paper at the bridal shower. My nieces were the models. Allie's team won the technical merit award:
And Ashley's team won the award for artistic merit:

It's that happy time....

2007-06-06T22:37:00.000-05:00

Congrats to those families receiving their referrals.

((((HUGS))) to those just missing the 11/07 cutoff.

It's all about the Qi

2007-06-01T11:59:00.000-05:00

I have a confession, for awhile I've been seeking peace in my life and calm resolution to facing this enduring wait. Two things, in addition to prayer, have been very helpful, one is listening to the CD version of this book by Joel Osteen. I listen to the CD's during my commute back and forth to work. The other thing that works for me is going back to acupuncture. The result is that I love the combination of harmony and balance with spiritual deepening that I am finding in my life.

Finding balance and harmony

The word acupunture scares many people and conjours pictures of painful needles, the reality is so different from that. Acupuncture originated in China more than 2,000 years ago, making it one of the oldest and most commonly used medical procedures in the world.

Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM)is based on a concept of vital energy, or qi, that is believed to flow throughout the body. Qi (pronounced "chee") is proposed to regulate a person's spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical balance and to be influenced by the opposing forces of yin (negative energy) and yang (positive energy). Disease is proposed to result from the flow of qi being disrupted and yin and yang becoming unbalanced. Among the components of TCM are herbal and nutritional therapy, restorative physical exercises, meditation, acupuncture, and remedial massage.

Basically, I've had too much yin and not enough yang! So I'm curious, what helps others find calm during the wait and find balance in your qi? Please share any suggestions!