Waiting for Chloe

On Wings of an Angel - In Memory of Deana

2009-07-27T19:42:00.005-05:00

A tender heart stopped beating today. A woman I never met in real life, only online through an adoption chatboard, yet she touched my life through her words and her actions. Deana was a loving wife, a proud mama to two young, sweet boys, and also a woman who reached out to so many lives through her kind words, encouraging spirit, a soul that fought the illness with all she had. Her courageous battle against Burketts Lymphoma was fought in a way that inspired so many others.

You left us too soon, Deana. Your ducky friends will always remember you and continue to pray for Jack and the zboyz as they grow up. In the words of her husband, Jack, hug your loved ones close tonight.

Loves bares all things...

In loving memory of a special ducky friend, Deana

I'm a Raspberry! What are you?

2009-07-09T12:15:00.003-05:00

Who needs hot fudge or powdered sugar? You are naturally sweet, like the best parts of summer. You are secret swimming spots in the woods, where the water is so cold it takes your breath away, even in August. You are the way it feels to swing out over the water on a knotted rope or scramble up a rocky outcropping, just so you can leap off and make the perfect splash. You are tall swaying grass, hayrides, farm stands, and cool morning air that smells vaguely of wildflowers. Mmm... YOU!

What summer food are you???

Unsolved Mysteries

2009-07-08T20:16:00.005-05:00

I arrived home from work to find this, the crime scene...
I tried to talk to the suspects...
The usual suspect denied any involvement, her history involves shredding her toys, not my things...
Hmm...someone's not looking too innocent...

The big goof isn't fooling me with his usual charm of a wink and a smile...
The blond girl is relieved to be outta this scandal.
Like I could be mad, HAH, it was my own fault for leaving the bathroom door open with some new tools that have been distracting me from their walks.

Seriously though, check out this nifty swing and slide a neighbor was tossing out. I backed my car up and loaded that goody up!

And puhleeze excuse the messy yard, a girl can't get her yardwork done and tile a floor at the same time. Thank goodness for the kind neighbor who keeps the front yard looking good for me, I wish he would also take pity on my backyard too!

July 4th holiday - part 2

2009-07-08T17:23:00.005-05:00

My holiday weekend wasn't all labor intensive though, I did find time to celebrate my 46th (yikes!) birthday with family. Good grief, I'm definitely going to be the oldest "new" mother on the playground. I should start researching high schools that are near future nursing homes or retirement centers for me to make it a short walk for Chloe one day! HAH - who am I kidding, there will be no retirement in my lifetime!

In truth, I never planned to wait this late in life to start a family, life just happened that way. Building a family for me has always been a deeply ingrained desire, a dream I refused to give up on, regardless of the rocky road to get there. Perhaps the challenges in my earlier years have helped me have the fortitude to survive this extended wait.

My stomach is in knots lately with the latest bumps in the road, including a newly imposed, additional "required" donation fee by my agency (upon receiving referral). Since when is a donation "required?" Well, when an agency decides to hold a new referral ransom until this new required fee is paid, I have to wonder if our freedoms in the USA really are free. Of course I want to do what I can to help orphanages in China, the method to require this donation is unsettling.

The latest media coverage of corruption of children forcibly removed from homes due to family planning guidelines in China also worries me on multiple levels. China; their government = their laws. How will the U.S. see this latest issue though? I prefer to keep my head in the sand at the moment and protect my heart that this will not end up as another delay in the process and that the babes that are adopted out truly are orphaned and not children taken out of the arms of loving homes. It seems so sad that each step of the process, while ever so slowly inching forward, there appears to be yet another hurdle, yet another concern, to either accomplish or overcome. The underlying fact is we each need to come to terms with the concept of motherhood, China's family planning laws, and how our adopted Chinese children will process this information. What will it mean to them one day? Yet another round of unanswered questions of their past lives. Hopefully, the tender arms of loving family and supportive answers to keep looking and trying to understand a government and long-standing culture so different from our own as Americans will play a large step in our children making peace with their unknown past.

However motherhood comes to you,

it's a miracle.

~Valerie Harper

How I spent my July 4th holiday - Part 1

2009-07-06T06:50:00.004-05:00

Some people lazed by the pool,
others enjoyed bbq's in preparation
for the evening's fireworks,
not me this year, all of the typical independence
day celebrations will be picked up again next year,
but this year...while some lazy dogs snoozed...

I ripped up my old bathroom flooring and got into some serious manual labor...
Seriously, what was I thinking? Yet another physical labor project? That's ok, "install new tile floor" will soon be checked of my "items to do before bring home a precious babe" list.

Needless to say, when a friend called at 8am and said, "right about now you're regretting starting this project," well, I didn't find it quite so funny at the time because it was too true!

2009-06-29T10:56:00.002-05:00

Every call has a beginning

A quiet moment when God

whispers a promise to a mother’s heart.

A holy place where a father bows

and faithfully accepts the journey set before him.

A miraculous morning that unexpectedly dawns…

Casting its first light on a chosen threshold.

A gentle knock..a closed door opens.

A sacred invitation sent by the Father

Leads to the other side of the world.

Where lonely hearts stare out orphanage windows

Praying for someone to care..

And then one morning,

On an ordinary day

An orphan’s life changes...

God sends them a second chance...

Through you.

--author unknown

Orphans Deserve Better - A call to action

2009-06-27T23:21:00.002-05:00

I've added a new photo link to my sidebar. Orphans Deserve Better is a grassroots effort to counter the Warner Brothers movie, Orphan, set for release soon.

Please take a moment to click on the link and sign the petition. Far-fetched stories can subtly shape views of the world. This movie leaves the impression that orphans are damaged goods, those who know better must react by being the voices for the children around the world who cannot speak for themselves.

Why adopt? Why China?

2009-06-27T21:12:00.002-05:00

Orphans of God...

My new love, joy unfolding...

2009-06-25T20:30:00.000-05:00

I have a new love in my life, my attention is captivated with it's mysterious, yet fulfilling nature. I've followed my love to new hangouts, leisurely wandering store aisles with thoughts of my love in mind, spending many late nights roaming blogs that share my love.

To the dismay of one,
And the skepticism of another,

I introduce my new love, I think I'll call her Mags...
Just a few of the reasons I fell in love with Mags...

Your built in needle threader, how long has this special feature been around?

Your button to make the needle go up or down, rather than using the wheel on the side like my junior high home ec teacher taught me.

Your speed control, we can fly new alleys together or slow down to enjoy the ride.

Your sharp thread cutter, which I've learned can also slice the seam allowance if I'm not careful.

Oh, the depths I long to explore my new love. Perhaps one day soon, as our relationship solidifies, I will feel comfortable enough to move from the solitary straight stitch and explore your auto button holer and decorative stitches.

Life. A perspective by Mother Teresa

2009-06-23T17:46:00.001-05:00

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is costly, care for it.
Life is wealth, keep it.
Life is love, enjoy it.
Life is mystery, know it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is life, fight for it.

~ Mother Teresa ~

In memory of my dad, who would have been 72 today. He was my hero, the man who taught me to enjoy life's humorous moments, that sarcasm can be funny, that a hug really can heal life's disappointments, and a man that loved my mother with true, lifetime devotion. For that last one, he is also the man I will forever judge all my relationships by. Miss ya, Dad, and when we meet again in heaven, I will ask why you never told Mom "no," thus leaving your kids to deal with that one! LOL (note: inside family joke)

Gung Hay Fat Choy

2008-02-07T20:05:00.002-06:00

Happy Chinese New Year 2008--The Year of the Rat

I haven't even caught up on posts from the last year! Well, everyone says to keep busy for distraction during the wait so here's a few items I need to post about:

Finding my soul at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
I really know how to party on New Year's Eve (not!)
Why I will need to marry a man with tools.

I would love to write about overcoming procrastination, but obviously I haven't figured that one out yet! Regardless, Gung Hay Fat Choy, and may your joys be many and your belly be full of goodness!

Pet Peeves

2009-06-25T11:07:00.002-05:00

I’m in a mood today, a dirty no good rotten mood. Isn’t there a children’s book about that? My mood is probably stemming from a lack of reasonable sleep lately due in part to Norman, my 11 year old lab who is acting like a whiney toddler lately, work woes, and because I keep forgetting to get my estrogen prescript refilled. A woman with a lapse of estrogen is not a good thing.

Norman, while the love of my life for his whole hearted dedication to me, is driving me nuts because of that dedication. He has to be by my side at every turn and movement in my home. His latest lovely habit is to bark incessantly at me in a loud, big dog sorta way. He barks, not because he is hurt, more out of boredom, he barks if I’m on the phone, if I’m on the computer, if I’ve just finished petting him, if I’m in the bathroom, well, you get the picture. I spoke with a pet obedience trainer who advised me to treat the behavior like a child’s annoying behavior, ignore it and it will go away. BWAAHAA, Norman upped the anti and barks more and louder! Time out is my new thing. Upon avoiding one warning of “few more minutes, night night good boy” (which has always worked in the past), Norman now gets dragged to the bedroom and I shut the door to give us some space. His timeout lasts less than two minutes as his attention span is less than that and usually works for a little while. (Thank goodness for my sweet girl, Bailey, who is such an easy dog to share my life.)

Work…it is what it is, I do not like being in a position where I’m not happy with my job. I can’t change it and in my heart I’m deeply grateful to have a decent job in this economy. I’m just tired of the “no good deed will go unpunished” operating theory.

So, while I’m on a whiney roll, I thought I’d list a few pet peeves, perhaps some bloggers will relate, and some bloggers may think I need to get a life, (thank you, I have one, it is good, but to each life some rain must fall, and it’s cloudy weather here in my world at the moment)!

My random list of current pet peeves:

Public forums for single women where married women join a discussion thread to talk about their married lives. Hello, the heading is “single” why are you posting there about how long you’ve been married? This trend seems to happen regularly on the RQ site, which is why I limit my postings about “single life” to closed forums.

Married women who complain when their husband/S.O. is away that they have had to be a “single mother.” OMG – get real, you have the security of another paycheck and a backup pair of hands; try balancing responsibility of a home, a family, auto repairs, health issues, and finances all on your own. I’m not there yet (ala single mother) but I can tell this will be a hot button for me.

Politicians that only help constituents when it brings them into the spotlight. This is directed to Kay Bailey Hutchinson, a fellow adoptive parent, who never responded to my previous writing. Umm, Kay, not a good way to recruit voters if you’re going to run for governorship. (Shout out to Rep Hensarling and Sen Cornyn for their previous efficient and helpful responses!)

The local immigration office. Today marks 7 weeks since my fingerprints were taken for the third time in the 171 process. You’ve got my money. Really now, how long does it take to stamp a document with “good for another 18 months.”

Rude coworkers (please note that drama queens are cute on toddlers, not grown adults), neighbors who don’t mow their lawns, selfish people, hair dressers that do not understand that a ½” trim does not mean chop 2” off of layers, oh, and one more, whiney people! LOL

Ok, vent over. I’m off to climb out of my whiney pit. Please pass the chocolate!

Finding a new church home

2009-06-21T14:57:00.004-05:00

It's Sunday. All week I've psyched myself up to visit church again. I have a church home, my family's church. Over the years it wasn't seeming to meet my needs. The pastor, I love, his sermons inspire me; at rough times in my life he has been a confidant and guide. My soul needed more though. As I sat in the congregation, I looked around and saw a lack of diversity. In my heart I knew it was time to start seeking a place where my daughter wouldn't stand out in the crowd, even a congregation as nice as my church home.

This weekend I kept studying the myriad of Sunday School classes at a different church. It was time to move from the sanctuary to the next level. Sunday morning arrived, I reviewed the spreadsheet online again, knowing full well that the only way to find a place in a mega-church is to connect with the smaller groups. I made deals with myself. First the dogs would get a long walk, if there was time, I'd go to Sunday School, otherwise, just try the Sunday worship as opposed to my occasional visits to the Saturday evening service. Ok, dogs were walked, and I managed to shower, dress and even curl my hair in record time. The Lord was making this too easy. Satan was pulling me the other way. Finally I told myself I could visit the nearby Super Target if I just went. (Nothing like incentive, right, besides God knows my heart.)

I show up at the mega-church and found a quick parking spot. Ok, not funny Lord. If He kept this up, I'd have time to find a Sunday School class rather than ducking into the Sanctuary for the early service. I ran up the steps and entered the door. A woman was getting a cup of coffee and looked over. I smiled and was greeted in return. I saw her enter the first church classroom nearby. The sign on the door said Womens Bible Class - All Ages. Ok, Lord, not funny, obviously I was meant to enter the door. I walked in and took a seat in the front row, kinda close to the door...

It was a small class, only about a dozen women. I noticed many name badges on the wall and wondered if this was the typical size or if a very large number of women were already at Target, instead of in Sunday School. The women were a friendly mix of single and married, most my age or a older. I truly didn't want to judge, but I'll admit to thinking "hmphh, this class is too small." Ok, Goldilocks, what did I want? I'd asked for a smaller group and one had been presented right to me, as soon as I had entered the church.

I looked ahead at the posters on the wall, it was then that my heart skipped a beat, the first poster I read said "CHINA - moving toward opportunity." The next poster spoke to my soul:

GO where you never thought you would.
DO what you never thought you could.
BE who you always knew you should.
Take Jesus to China.

To be honest, I didn't fully get all I could out of the class lesson, I felt unprepared. I was distracted. My eyes continued to be drawn back to the posters. Each line spoke to me. Maybe I've found a church home afterall.

All of this reminds me, God is in control. Everything will be ok. I can step out of the boat and not sink if I keep my faith in Him.

And that trip to Target...well, Chloe now has a nice assortment of sippy cups and BPA-free dishes. Maybe one day in the future, as we sit down to eat, I'll be able to share with her how I found our church home, and that God truly does work in mysterious ways.

The outtakes

2009-06-20T04:51:00.001-05:00

While I had the camera at taking pictures of the LID inchworm, I thought I would attempt some photos of the dogs in the newly cleaned-out spare room. With the help of my mom and a large stash of early adoption wait shopping, the room was recently transformed from a storage catch-all to a combo craft room (for now) and future play room.

Yeah, we can cooperate, but our posture won't win us any dog show awards.

Hey, where's the camera, I need to show my best side.
What's up with this? It's so hard to get a good picture of Norman (camera shy) and then Bailey has her eyes closed! (My brother said Bailey was prob complaining about the lighting not being right for her photo shoot and working with amateurs...)Uhm, this is not how self-timer works, my girl loves to be up close on the action...

Camera hog...
Norman has his party face on, meanwhile Bailey's has her sights set on greener pastures...

And that's a wrap, Bailey's definitely over this photo shoot.

Inching closer to Chloe - 37 months

2009-06-18T23:47:00.000-05:00

Today is the 37th month anniversary of my LID. Funny how the first year, each month was celebrated. Then in the 2nd year it was just odd, as the third year of anniversaries approached, I went from sad to acceptance (slow learner!).

In honor of yet another anniversary, my mood has changed to more optimism and instead of looking back, I'm ready to look forward and mark off the days referred until my LID. I recently noticed a travel mate had made a paper link chain to represent the rest of the LIDs until our LID. Since it finally feels like its going to happen in less than a year, I followed their idea with a twist. When my nieces were learning to read in 1st grade, the teacher encouraged them to make a wall caterpillar with an oval for each book they read. Needless to say, their caterpillars wrapped the walls of their rooms and went down the hallway. The ladybug represents my log-in, May 18, 2006.
The body of the caterpillar is made up of ovals with one LID on each oval.
In anticipation of the next referrals going through March 20th, I'm looking forward to shortening the inch worm by removing 6 days off his body!

Really, how long is a minute?

2009-06-19T07:20:00.005-05:00

Oh bother, just lovely. That's what I thought to myself as I felt my footing slip in the mud and my body slowly fall to the concrete. Really, skinned knees at my age? The dogs and I were having a nice brisk walk this morning, and I slipped on the smallest patch of mud from a yard's sprinklers. Perhaps it was payback for my staring too long at a neighbor's garden, or just as likely because my thoughts were distracted and I wasn't truly enjoying the moment, a breezy coolness of the early day in the beginnings of a too hot Texas summer.

It's funny though how falls, like traffic accidents, seem to happen in slow motion. It's in that instant that I wonder if I could just reach out, grab for safety and stop the hurling of the moment. Yet, fun times with family and friends seem to go by so quickly.

How will it be in that moment when my daughter is at last place in my arms? Knowing in advance it will happen quickly, but what will there be a moment of time in slow motion. Will our hearts connect quickly or will it be the slow natural bonding, where one day I look back and barely remember time before her. Possibly it will be both, ok, my heart will prob connect quicker, whereas Chloe may want more time to build the trust. I pray that God grants her love each day until we our brought together into a family at last. It seems like such a cliche now to have heard so many BTDT families say the heartache of the wait fades away in an instant on that blessed gotcha day. For now though, the days pass slowly, while the minutes fly by.

How long is a minute?
(author unknown)

A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God."

God," he said, "how long is a million years?"

God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."

The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"

God answered, "To me, it's a penny."

The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"

God answered, "In a minute."

A Month of Celebrations

2009-06-15T22:17:00.009-05:00

This past May was such a special month of celebrations in my family. One niece graduated college summa cum laude and my other niece graduated high school 4th in her class of over 400. They are not just great students, but also great friends. Sometimes I feel sad that Chloe won't have a sister so close, my heart is comforted though by knowing that these girls will be awesome cousins and role models.

Sweet sisters, dearest friends

May 2009 also brought the 36 month anniversary of my paperwork being logged in China. Being busy with the graduation preps and celebration parties made the anniversary so much more bearable as it was easy to feel the love and support of family and friends. Plus, now that 3 years have gone by, I truly feel that much closer to my daughter, and Lord willing, I believe I will see her face in the next six to nine months. Along the way, rumor queen posted some revised projections and I can't even express how stoked I was to see my LID on the chart at last. Even with the worst case projections, my heart has been lifted. What a difference this feels since I've been saying "another year" for so long!

Come on, play along!

2009-05-19T22:28:00.003-05:00

Saw this here and thought it would be fun to play along.
Here are the rules: Bold the things you’ve done and post on your blog!
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii - on my bucketlist
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyworld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo - in the shower, not in public!
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child - definitely hope to accomplish this soon!
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables - on my bucketlist
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train - on my bucketlist
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked - people still do this???
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - today, ssshhh!
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon - a half-marathon is on my bucketlist!
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - HAH
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke - see #10 above!
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - really need to get on the ball with this one
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - on my bucketlist
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China - soon, soon, Lord willing, see #15 above!!!
57. Started a business - a sign company with my ex many eons ago
58. Taken a martial arts class - been seriously considering this one!
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen - want to do this
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching - on my bucketlist
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving - on my bucketlist
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check - aarrgghhh
68. Flown in a helicopter - on my bucketlist
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt (still working on this one)
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person - even hiked to the bottom!
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous - didn't technically "meet" him, but frmr Senator Bob Dole once invited me to share his private elevator when I was lost in the State Capitol!
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby - will never know this experience.
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
Okay - who else wants to play?

thirty-six months

2009-05-18T21:52:00.004-05:00

Just waiting...
Almost afraid to hope or think
Feeling numb protects my tears from flowing
Yet my heart knows, time will pass
Faith reminds me my daughter will find her way
And a family we will be at last.

May You Be Safe While You're Waiting

(author unknown)

May you be safe and sleep soundly through the night

May you be safe as you wake to the morning's light

May you feel my love from so far away,

May it comfort and protect you throughout each day.

I will pray for you my little one,

Until our time of waiting is done.

I will pray that the Lord keep you safe from harm,

Until the child of my heart becomes the child in my arms.

Positive Adoption Messages

2009-05-15T13:42:00.002-05:00

Pro-Adoption Ad to appear on the finale of American Idol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIBZ-kJ6XAc

Foster Care Adoption Ad from the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption
http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/How-You-Can-Help/Just-A-Kid

"Most Friendliest"

2009-05-11T23:44:00.011-05:00

May is a monumental month in my family with both my nieces graduating, one from college and one from high school. This past weekend kicked-off the whirlwind of activities with Allie's prom. She and her boyfriend are such good sports about having their pictures taken, and after a couple years of great photos, the pressure was on to capture a standout image again. After taking over 80 pix(!), here's a few of my favs.

It takes a village to get a girl ready, even Gracie the cat wanted to get in on the action.
I wanted them to do a dance with a twirl to show off the dress. It took a few tries to get there.

Awww...sweetness
My sister's latest fav technique, off-centering, came out very nice.
I love this artsy one and really think the tux rental place should use it on display. I asked them to lean against the wall and somehow this cute photo came out.

Allie was awarded "Most Friendliest," which she truly is with her beautiful inner spirit, wit, and outgoing personality. All of this from the little girl who was once too shy to leave her mother's side during kindergarten, to the beautiful young lady she has blossomed into today. Love ya cutie!

All pics taken with my trusty Kodak Easyshare, circa 2006, hoping for a grown up camera one day! LOL

Sometimes...

2009-05-12T17:34:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I just need a little Pooh wisdom in my life:

Promise me you’ll always remember:
You’re braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem, and
smarter than you think.
~ Christopher Robin to Pooh

I kinda intentionally overlooked mentioning Mother's Day on my blog. My sister and I only had time for a quick visit with my Mom on Sunday. My family decided to postpone a MD celebration until we're not so busy next month. I loved my sister's saying, "we've got enough family events going on that pretty soon we'll be sick of visiting with our own selves, much less each other!"

My Mom is my confidant, my inspiration and my best friend. And the person who understood that this year, at this time, just staying busy with hobbies, projects, and running around is the best thing to cope yet another Hallmark holiday. But like Christopher Robin's advice to Pooh, we are "braver than we believe...and stronger than we seem." I really believe next year will be different.

Dipping my feet back in the water

2009-05-09T01:36:00.002-05:00

I've taken some time off from the blogging world. Ok, that's an understatement. I totally went MIA from blogging in order to refocus, develop new interests and stay busy. Time away is good for the soul. I didn't want "life to happen, while I was busy making plans." I'll never understand the reasons for this wait, and yet, in my heart I know that this wait has made me grow as a person, in ways I never imagined and probably in some ways I didn't want to but knew it was for the best. I have more confidence in myself and my abilities, which I hope will translate into being a better person and a better parent.

Along the way, I've learned to deal blackjack, remodel my home with tile, paint and glaze cabinets, paint and distress furniture, and lots of manual labor.

My newest love though is sewing. It started with wanting a few new window treatments, which caused me to dust off my 20+ year old machine to see if it would even turn on. Gotta love a good 'ole Sears product! What started simply has turned into a new passion. I've learned to make tote bags and clutches. I browsed a few blogs (of course!) and fell in love with boutique-style children's clothing, especially when modeled by some Asian cuties. Now I'm shopping for a new sewing machine, one that will do more than just sew a straight line. Quilts squares, anyone? It may be time to refocus on that 100 good wishes quilt.

History in the Making

2009-01-20T22:49:00.002-06:00

What an awesome day in the history of our country. Personal politics aside, I am looking forward to his ideas and leadership of our great country. One of my fav moments from the inauguration ceremony has to be the approval of his 7 year old daughter, right after the swearing in ceremony when she gave her dad the universal signal of approval...thumbs up.

Words from the refuge

2007-03-02T13:35:00.000-06:00

Just checking in and updating this blog. It seems the wait coupled with the overwhelming stress of my job has sent me into a sabbatical mode from the adoption world. I've even stopped checking the rumor queen on a regular basis, but that's probably a healthy change! For those of you with adoption blogs, please know that I've been quietly thinking of you, just not up to commenting on blogs.

My job has really worried me over the past couple of months. I feel I am in limbo, do I move on or do I stay... One thing I do know is I don't want to be dealing with this kind of stress and frustration in the workplace when I have my daughter home so perhaps this is the time to make the hard decisions.

Moving on to other topics though...Xin Nian Kuai Le! Happy Lunar New Year! My celebration didn't find fireworks of this nature like Shanghai:

Instead, the Chinese New Year's Eve celebration started in one of my fav outdoorsy ways, by taking the dogs on an outdoor trail in East Texas:

Norman actually showing excitement:
Cold weather and even colder water doesn't interfere with fetching and swimming:
Bailey always leading the way:

My friend Larry was so kind to back track on the highway to the nearest town in search of a Chinese restaurant to help mark the day. Neither of us were interested in the buffet-style Chinese restaurants we found, so we settled on Mexican food. (Hopefully my daughter will appreciate being flexible and not turn out confused on the idea of celebrating her Chinese heritage with Mexican food & hiking!) A balloon artist made a ballon a pig for me to celebrate the year of the pig:

My new year's wish is continued blessings on those children who have already found their way home and for our children who remain in foster care and orphanages to feel safe and loved. May those of us who longingly wait find renewed hope in our hearts, peace through the long wait, and may the CCAA staff find ways to help so many little ones find their families quicker.